Harry Potter and the Magical Singalong
by alBBie
Summary: It all starts at a school dance when someone breaks into song! Now students throughout Hogwarts show off their mysterious singing and dancing talents as they are oddly compelled to sing Muggle songs. Random parody WITH A PLOT. R&R.
1. The Beginning and Theft

**A/N: **Stop making new stories! Stop! Stop! I'm a bad girl, but this will probably get deleted in five seconds anyway, as my stories tend to have been recently. And, I must say, I have been feeling a severe lack of inspiration for my other ones.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the songs or characters.

**0000**

The Hogwarts students were having a dance. Although this dance was different from most dances. But most of the students didn't know this. They thought it was a normal dance.

"This dance is bloody lame! As usual…" Draco Malfoy scoffed from his dark corner where he was brooding sexily, as Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini, his new best friends in everyone's fanfictions, including J.K. Rowling's, which she likes to call The Half-Blood Prince (Crabbe and Goyle seem to have been abandoned), stood next to him also brooding sexily, but not as sexily as Draco because he is a bigger/more important character.

"Amen to that!" Theo exclaimed.

"Yeah, son," Blaise said, since the Author can't seem to figure out Blaise's race because it's different in every fanfiction (including J.K.'s). So it's going to change. No one thought it was weird; they were all used to Blaise's attempts at rediscovering his roots.

Draco huffed and folded his arms across his nicely toned chest. What would adolescent girls do if Draco's chest wasn't nicely toned?

"Why don't you find your boo and dance with her?" Blaise wondered.

Draco rolled his eyes. "If by 'my boo' you're referring to Pansy, then I refuse to dance with that obnoxious cow," Draco replied. "She's getting massively on my nerves."

Blaise shrugged and leaned against the wall.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the flashing flourescent lights and blaring (horrible) wizard music, the trio was standing together.

"Come on, you guys, why won't you dance?" Hermione nagged in her utterly naggish way.

"_Because_," Ron moaned, "who are we going to dance with?"

"I'll dance with you!" Hermione chirped ignorantly.

Ron turned red, although it was hard to see under the flashing flourescent lighting.

"Maybe some other time, Hermione," Harry said consolingly, even though he's usually the obnoxious one full of complaints. "I'm sick of girls right now."

Hermione sighed dramatically. "Fine," she said, "I'll go dance by myself, and you two will look like giant losers because you're friends with the solo dancing girl." She smirked, turned on her heel, and disappeared into the giant throng of gyrating students.

**0000**

Draco was still brooding in his dark corner with Theodore and Blaise when this strange urge suddenly came over him. He sort of slipped into a strange trance of sorts for a moment, only hearing the music and seeing the sweaty, gyrating bodies…

"Che cazzo!" Blaise cursed loudly in Italian as someone accidentally spilled pumpkin juice all over him. Because wizards would never, ever want to drink carbonated drinks. Or anything normal.

Draco snapped back into reality. " – Huh…?" He turned to see Blaise swearing under his breath as he wiped off his shirt with his hand while the fourth year who had spilled on him got some napkins. Then, when Blaise and the Author both remembered that he could use a spell, he quickly took out his wand and mumbled one and the juice immediately disappeared.

Draco twitched strangely as Muggle computer generated music began to blare from thin air.

"Whoa – are you okay - ?" Theo started, attempting to grab Draco's arm as he walked in his trance through the throng of students.

Before anyone knew what was happening, Draco suddenly had gained a lot of talent in singing and dancing, as the rest of the school suddenly became decent dancers as well. But mostly Draco and Hermione.

"Up in the club with my homies, trying to get a little V.I., keep down on the low key, 'cause you know how it feels," Draco started singing. "I saw shorty she was checkin' up on me, from the game she was spittin' in my ear you would thank that she knew me – " He turned to Hermione and they started dancing rather inappropriately. "So we decided to chill. Conversation got heavy. She had me feelin' like she's ready to blow!"

"Watch out!" the fourth year who spilled pumpkin juice on Blaise and also happened to be little and named Jon yelled in a raspy voice.

"Oh!" came from Draco as he continued to dance in a rated R fashion with Hermione.

"Watch out!"

"Sayin' come get me!" – Hermione mouthed the three words – "Come get me! So I got up and followed her to the floor. She said baby let's go," – Hermione mouthed the words again – "So I told her I said, yeah, yeah, yeah."

The whole dance floor broke out into flawless dance moves.

"Shorty got down low, said come and get me," Draco sang perfectly as he danced. Who knew anyone could accomplish such a difficult feat! "I got so caught up I forgot she told me! Her and my girl were the best of homies. Next thing I knew she was all up on me screamin'. Yeah! Yeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeah, yeah! Yeah!"

Draco and Hermione and Co. began doing the strange piano and bird moves from the "Yeah!" music video.

"So she's all up in my head now. Got me thinking that it might be a good idea to take her with me, 'cause she's ready to leave (to leave). But I gotta keep it real now, because on a one to ten she's a certified twenty. But that just ain't me! Hey! 'Cause I know (oh!) if I take that chance just where it's gonna lead, but what I do know is the way she dance make shorty alright with me. The way she get low! I'm like yeah, just work that out with me. She asked for one more dance and I'm like, yeah, how the hell am I supposed to lead?"

They broke into the chorus again.

"Shorty got down low, said come and get me. I got so caught up, I forgot she told me! Her and my girl were the best of homies. Next thing I knew, she was all up on my screamin' yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah! Yeah!"

"Li'l Jon!" screamed the mysterious pumpkin juice-spilling fourth year.

"Watch out, my outfit's ridiculous," Blaise started rapping, "in the club lookin' so conspicuous. And wow! These women all on the prowl. If you hold the head steady I'm 'a milk the cow. And forget about game! I'm 'a spit the truth: I won't stop 'till I get 'em in their birthday suit! So give me the rhythm and it'll be off 'a their clothes. They bend over to the front and touch ya toes. I left the jag and I took the roles and if they ain't cuttin' then I put 'em on foot patrol. How ya like me now? When my pinky's valued over three hundred thou_sand_? Let's drank you da one to please," – he stumbled a bit as he wasn't sure who's name he was supposed to insert in the lyrics – "… Fill cups like double D's. Me and – um… - once more when we leave's 'em dead; we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed that say:"

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Draco started up again, as everyone continued dancing except for the little fourth year named Jon, who was spraying magically conjured champagne everywhere. Although, wizards probably don't drink champagne. "Shorty got down low, said come and get me! I was so caught up I forgot she told me! Her and my girl were best of homies. Next thing I knew she was all up on my screamin'!"

Everyone started yelling the word "yeah!" to the lyrics. Draco was a little pooped by now as his trance stared fading and as soon as the computer generated Muggle music ended, everyone toppled to the ground in a defeated heap.

Hermione was the first to shoot up.

"What just happened!" she cried.

Draco slowly sat up, rubbing his head. "I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm a damn good dancer, and Blaise ain't to bad at rapping!" Draco cleared his throat. "What am I saying? I need sleep."

The rest of the group mumbled in puzzled agreement and stood up. There was a slow rush to exit the Dining Hall.

**0000**

Hermione woke up groggily the next morning. She felt oddly uncomfortable as she got dressed and washed her face. She headed down to breakfast, passing a few ugly Slytherin girls from her year along the way who glared at her maliciously. Last night's strange events popped back into her mind and she involuntarily shook her head to rid herself of the horrid memory.

She found Ginny, Ron, and Harry when she reached the Dining Hall and sat with them. "Good morning," she said, trying to put on a happy demeanor.

The three nodded tiredly at her.

"Well, everyone certainly is very lively this morning." She was trying desperately to take her mind off of the scarring previous night.

Ron chuckled. "Sorry," he said, looking across the table at her with a small smile on his face. "So, that was some show you put on last night."

"Oh, fuck!" Hermione moaned, dropping her head onto the table.

Ginny snorted annoyingly, but Harry was still too tired to react.

"I'm serious, what was going on?" Ron asked.

Hermione slowly brought up her head. "I have no idea!" she whisper-cried. Like people do in movies when the camera has to hear what they're saying but they're supposed to be whispering. "I wasn't the only one acting strange – I wasn't the one singing, first of all! And there were a billion other dancers. So stop being so obnoxious!"

Ron shrugged smugly and Hermione rolled her eyes.

Suddenly someone threw their hands down on the table next to her.

"Yeah, what about last night?"

Hermione looked up, irritated. It was Pansy. "I don't know," she said seriously.

Pansy looked disbelievingly back at her. "Uh-huh. Right. You just grinded the night away with my boyfriend for no reason."

Hermione sighed angrily. "Did nobody notice the strange singing talent that Malfoy developed? Or everyone's magical dancing skills? Huh?"

"Whatever," Pansy said, staring at Hermione with anorexic eyes. …… She leaned toward Hermione until her face was right up against Hermione's. "Bitch."

The whole table gasped at Pansy's remark. How DARE she call Hermione a bitch!

Hermione's jaw dropped as she watched Pansy turn on her heel and strut off back to the Slytherin table.

"Whoa," Harry remarked, his eyes still glazed over from the morningness. "That was rough."

**0000**

For the next day, people continued to make remarks to Hermione about what happened between her and Draco at the dance. She continued to get sneers in the hallway from Pansy and her friends. She was beyond irritable by dinner. She wanted to have an enjoyable Sunday, but that had to be ruined by the Slytherin brats.

"Ugh! I'm ready to explode!" Hermione screamed during dinner that evening after Pansy got all the seventh year Slytherins to laugh and point at her for five minutes straight. She was about ready to pop a cap in someone's ass by now.

"There, there, Hermione," Ginny attempted at comforting, stroking Hermione's arm.

Hermione pouted.

Then Pansy and her posse approached the table once more.

"How's trashy Hermione the boyfriend stealer doing?" Pansy questioned, beating those anorexic eyelashes of hers up and down at a thumping pace.

Hermione licked her lips. She had had enough of this.

Suddenly music started playing from nowhere. Just as it had the night before…

Hermione stood up and faced Pansy. "Whatcha been doin'? Whatcha been doin'?" she stared singing. "Whoa, whoa, haven't seen ya 'round. How you been feelin'? How you been feelin'? Whoa, whoa, don't you bring me down." She started walking forward, poking Pansy in the chest as she sang. Pansy looked utterly flabbergasted. "All that stuff about me, being with him, can't believe all the lies that you told just to ease your own soul. But I'm bigger than that. No, you don't have my back. No, no, HA!" She jumped back oddly. "Hey, how long 'till the music drowns you out, don't put words up in my mouth. I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long 'till you face what's going on 'cause you really got it wrong; I didn't steal your boyfriend." At this point, Hermione stood up on the Gryffindor table. Pansy's jaw was practically hitting the floor. "Well I'm sorry, that he called me," she continued to sing, completely aware that the lyrics now had nothing to do with the point she was trying to prove. "And that I answered the telephone. Don't be worried. I'm not with him. And when I go out tonight I'm coming home alone. Just got back from my tour. I'm a mess, girl, for sure. All I want is some fun. Guess that I'd better run. Hollywood sucks you in, but it won't spit me out. Whoa, whoa. Ha!" She jumped on the table with the word "ha" and caused several plates and platters to crash around loudly. But it just added effect.

"Hey! How long 'till the music drowns you out? Don't put words up in my mouth! I didn't steal your boyfriend," she continued. "Hey, how long 'till you face what's going on? 'Cause you really got it wrong; I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long 'till you look at your own life instead of looking into mine? I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long 'till you're leaving me alone? Don't you got somewhere to go? I didn't steal your boyfriend." She snickered and stepped down from the table. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, ha. Whoa, whoa, whoa, ha." She stopped in front of Pansy and her posse. "Please stop telling all your friends. I'm getting sick of them always staring at me like I took him from ya." She smirked at the group before turning around again. "Hey, how long 'till the music drowns you out? Don't put words up in my mouth! I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long 'till you face what's going on? 'Cause you really got it wrong; I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long 'till you look at your own life instead of looking into mine? I didn't steal your boyfriend. Hey, how long 'till you're leaving me alone? Don't you got somewhere to go? I didn't steal your boyfriend."

Hermione started walking around the aisle next to the Gryffindor table just a bit as she ended her song. She also started dancing slightly spastically. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, ha. Whoa, I didn't steal your boyfriend. Whoa, whoa, whoa, ha, whoa. I didn't steal your boyfriend!" She spat the last line right in Pansy's face, and then sat down calmly as though nothing had just happened.

There was silence throughout the Dining Hall until Blaise suddenly stood up and yelled, "You go, girl!" pumping his fist into the air. He sat back down again. More silence. So he slowly stood up again and said with slightly less enerjy, "And you just got _served_."

**0000**

**A/N: **I really hope this doesn't get deleted because it's actually really fun to write! Give me any song suggestions and I'll try to work them into a plot. Because there will actually be a plot! Oh, and I got this idea because when I listen to music I sometimes imagine Harry Potter characters singing it. Because I have no life and it's actually really entertaining during long car rides. You should try it sometime.


	2. Racially Confused and Going Insane

**A/N: **Yay for four reviews! My estimate for this chapter is like… -8. Haha. I planned out like 12 chapters of this story so you all better read it!

**Long lost sorrow: **Thanks for your review and the suggestion! I'm glad you like it Keep on reviewing!

**xxlei: **Yay! I'm a funny girl…

**Chocolatebrowneyes: **Sharon taught me how to say "che cazzo"! Hahaha. She taught me lots of Italian curse words… Thanks for reviewing!

**Shannon: **Yay! I'm excited that you liked it! I have no idea what race Blaise is!!!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any songs or characters or Juicy-Juice. Yay. Well, not really.

**0000**

"There's a spell on the school. It's simple as that. A spell."

"Come on Hermione," Ron replied. "We all know that you have a secret passion for blurting out Muggle music in the middle of the Dining Hall."

Hermione sighed irritatedly, folding her arms across her chest as she sat in a chair in the Common Room. "Do you honestly think that I would dance with Malfoy and start singing at Pansy out of my _own free will_? And _not_ under the influence of _any_ spells of _any_ sort?"

Ron just laughed. Hermione flared her nostrils in annoyance.

"I believe you, Hermione," Harry said reassuringly. "I don't think you'd do anything as crazy as that and, quite frankly, neither would Malfoy."

Hermione nodded quickly. "It was a spell! I promise you! Let's go research!" With that she shot out of her chair and headed straight for the portrait hole.

**0000**

Draco was in the library when the Trio waltzed in. He was actually researching whatever insane spell had been cast upon the school to make him burst into a mad song like he had.

Thinking about what happened to him lead his mind off to Hermione's little outburst. He couldn't help but think about the way she looked when she was singing. Even if she was under a spell, there was still something somewhat… well, attractive about her when she was singing. And she did have some talent.

He snapped his book closed and shook his head to rid his mind of such blasphemous thoughts. What was he doing looking at Granger like that? He scoffed, annoyed with himself, and briskly left the library.

**0000**

Harry had never been so bored in his life. He had been bored many a time, but he had never quite been _this_ bored. It was this particular History of Magic lesson that was driving him absolutely insane. He was, quite honestly, going loony in the head. Loony Harry. He couldn't see straight.

That's when the music started.

He stood up, almost in a trance. "Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?" he began almost mechanically. "I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it. Sometimes I give myself the creeps. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up; I think I'm cracking up. Am I just paranoid? Or am I just stoned?" He realized at that moment that the lyrics made somewhat of sense. He could very well be stoned.

But after that they stopped making sense. "I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams. She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down. I went to a whore. He said my life's a bore. So quit my whining cause; it's bringing her down." He started walking down the aisle between desks. "Sometimes I give myself the creeps. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up; I think I'm cracking up. Am I just paranoid? Uh, yuh, yuh, ya!" There was a lot of guitar for a while, which was somewhat awkward if you think about it. He stood in front of Professor Binns' desk, facing the classroom. The ghost teacher hadn't even noticed that Harry started singing.

"Grasping to control. So I better hold on." More music. "Sometimes I give myself the creeps. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up. I think I'm cracking up. Am I just paranoid or am I just stoned?" Harry's voice faded out and there was more music. So he sort of spazzed out for a little and then sat back down when it finally ended. There was silence for a moment. Soon the students would need to get used to this.

**0000**

"Hi, Harry!" Ginny cried enthusiastically when she passed him at his spot at the Gryffindor table.

He nodded vaguely to her. He was busy thinking about what had happened during History of Magic earlier that day. Yesterday he, Hermione, and Ron spent quite some time in the library researching spells but they had come up empty handed. There was no record of a spell that made wizards start singing random Muggle songs anywhere in the Hogwarts library.

Suddenly Dumbledore stood up from his spot at the teachers' table and the Dining Hall fell silent.

"I think it has come to everyone's attention that there is a strange epidemic spreading across Hogwarts," he began. "There is some sort of spell that has been cast that is causing students to burst randomly into Muggle song. Several teachers have reported to me about outbursts during their classes and we know that it cannot be helped. We are researching to the best of our abilities, but for now we are all going to have to enjoy some free Muggle music." With that he sat down.

"Glad to know Dumbledore's on the case," Ron replied sarcastically.

Hermione looked concerned. "I wish the teachers could actually be responsible once in a while!"

"Calm down, Hermione," Ron said. "It's funny. You want this stuff to go away?"

Hermione didn't respond.

"Oh, I get it," Ron said, a smile creeping up his face, "you're just scared that _you're_ going to start singing again." Ron chuckled. "Why are you so worried? Your performance totally outdid Harry and Draco's."

Hermione glared at him.

"Hey!" Harry responded.

Meanwhile, a few feet down the table, Ginny sat with some of her sixth year friends. But she wasn't paying attention to the latest gossip they were conversing about; she was staring a few people away at Harry. She sighed. He was so… beautiful. The way he stared so blankly into space, his green eyes glazed over for severe lack of blinking. The way he only interjected into conversations on rare occasions. The stories she had heard about his singing during class… It was wonderful…

There seemed to be some sort of staring contest going on in the Dining Hall, because over at the Slytherin table, a certain blonde-haired, steel-eyed Slytherin couldn't help staring at a flustered Muggle Born. It, once again, took him a minute to realize what he was doing. He slapped himself.

"Whoa, man, what are you doing?" Blaise asked, noticing the self-destruction Draco was inflicting upon himself.

"Snapping myself out of a trance," was all Draco could respond with. He turned his gaze to Blaise (that rhymes!) who was sitting across from him and looking at him, utterly puzzled.

"Are you okay?" asked the one of questionable racial background.

"Yes, I'm f –"

At that moment he was cut off by music ringing through the Dining Hall. It sounded like some sort of school bell that was ringing to a specific tune. Suddenly Ginny Weasley was standing on the Gryffindor table.

"Baby, I'm so into you," she sang, walking slowly down the table. "You got that somethin'. What can I do? Baby you spin me around – oh – the Earth is movin', but I can't feel the ground." She stopped walking. "Every time you look at me my heart is jumpin' it's easy to see. Loving you means so much more. More than anything I ever felt before!" She turned out and faced the Dining Hall. "You drive me crazy! I just can't sleep. I'm so excited; I'm in too deep. Whoa, oh, oh crazy! But it feels alright. Baby thinking of you keeps me up all night."

She stepped down from the table and started walking up and down the aisles, not focusing on the person she was specifically singing to anymore. "Tell me you're so into me. That I'm the only one you will see. Tell me I'm not in the blue. That I'm not wasting my feelings on you. Loving you means so much more. More than anything I ever felt before! You drive me crazy. I just can't sleep. I'm so excited; I'm in too deep. Whoa, oh, oh, crazy! But it feels alright. Baby thinking of you keeps me up all night."

She stopped walking as the music changed. "Crazy. I just can't sleep. I'm so excited; I'm in too deep. Crazy. But it feels alright. Every day and every night." There was a lot of crappy guitar and she proceeded to prance around the Dining Hall like a spastic Weasley. Which she was. Then the chorus began again and she had to sing the little background parts as well as the normal chorus. "You drive me crazy – drive me crazy baby – I'm so excited; I'm in too deep. Whoa, oh, oh, crazy! But it feels alright! Baby thinking of you keeps me up all night! You drive me crazy! I just can't sleep. I'm so excited; I'm in too deep. Whoa, oh, oh, crazy! But it feels alright." She was back in front of the object of her affection again. "Baby thinking of you keeps me up all night."

Harry blinked. Ron snorted. Hermione was embarrassed for her friend. The rest of the Dining Hall was a bit stunned, but they were getting somewhat used to it.

"Not bad for a Weasley," Theodore Nott commented.

Draco hit him on the arm. "Take that back!" he commanded.

Theo rubbed his arm. "Jeez… Sorry…"

"You should be…" Draco grumbled. Hermione was making him rather like a girl on her period.

**0000**

There were no outbursts that anyone of any significance in the story were a part of until the next day, during their Potions lesson. In this story, Slughorn is going to teach Potions because Snape is so freaking annoying. But that's about the only thing that we're going to remember from Book 6.

Now, Blaise generally veers back and forth from being Italian and black. Occasionally he'll be Greek, even though Zabini doesn't sound very Greek, or sometimes he'll even be Middle-Eastern, Indian, or Eastern European because J. K. created such a vague character. But there are also times when he gets caught in the middle. And those moments are very awkward.

"So, yeah… Felix Felicis is that thing I taught you about last year…" Slughorn mumbled. "Yeah… I don't really feel like –" Suddenly a dope melody that sounded very similar to "Under Pressure" but definitely wasn't began to ring through the room. "Thank God!" Slughorn cheered to himself.

"Yo! VIP let's kick it!" Blaise started. "Alright, stop, collaborate, and listen. Ice is back with a brand new invention."

"How can he be back with a brand new invention if this is first single?" Dean asked Seamus in the corner of the room. "That's what I always wondered."

"Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Flow like harpoon daily and nightly. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn off the lights and I'll glow. To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal. Light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle." He ran to the front of the room, standing on top of the desk in front of Slughorn. "Dance go rush to the speaker that booms. I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom. Deadly when I play a dope melody. Anything less than the best is a felony. Love it or leave it you better gain weight. You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play. If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my my DJ revolves it." He stood with his arms folded across his face as his background singers began to sing the chorus.

Theo, Crabbe, and Goyle's voices all suddenly transformed to those of black men with very deep voices. "Ice, ice, baby. (Vanilla) Ice, ice, baby. (Vanilla) Ice, ice, baby. (Vanilla) Ice, ice, baby."

"Now that the party is jumping," Blaise continued. "With the bass kicked in and the Vegas are pumpin'. Quick to the point, to the point no faking. I'm cookin' MC's like a pound of bacon. Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble. I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a hi-hat with a souped up tempo. I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo. Rollin' in my 5.0 with my rag-top down so my hair can blow. The girlies on standby waving just to say hi."

"Did you stop?" questioned the deep-voiced background men.

"No I just drove by. Kept on pursuing to the next stop. I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block. The block was dead, yo, so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue. Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis. Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis. Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine. Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine. Reading for the chumps on the wall. The chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls. Gunshots rang out like a bell. I grabbed my nine – all I heard were shells falling on the concrete real fast. Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas. Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed. I'm trying to get away before the jackets jack. Police on the scene, you know what I mean. They passed me up. Confronted all the dope fiends. If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it."

The background singers sang the chorus once again as Blaise stood on the desk with his arms folded over his chest.

Then he began again, "Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet. Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it. My town that created all the bass sound. Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground. 'Cause my style's like a chemical spill. Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel. Conducted and formed, this is a hell of a concept. We make it hype and you want to step with this. Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja. Cut like a razor blade so fast the other DJ's say damn. If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram. Keep my composure when it's time to get loose. Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice. If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it. Check out the hook while Shay revolves it."

"Ice, ice, baby. (Vanilla) Ice, ice, baby. Oh-oh. (Vanilla) Ice, ice, baby. (Vanilla) Ice, ice, baby. Vanilla ice."

"Yo, man, let's get out of here." Blaise hopped off the desk and turned to Slughorn. "Word to your mother."

"Ice, ice, baby. Too cold. Ice, ice, baby. Too cold. Too cold…" The background singers repeated their part until the music faded out. They all took their seats again and were greeted by loud applause from the Slytherins and Slughorn.

"Thank you so much for taking up four minutes of my lesson!" Slughorn said, grinning.

**0000**

**A/N: **Ha, ha, ha, ha. I think that chapter was a bit shorter, but whatever; it had three songs in it and I was aiming for two a chapter. Sorry if some of the "Ice, Ice Baby" lyrics were wrong. If I ever have lyrical errors, please tell me! Also, I'm still taking suggestions but I might not necessarily use them if I… well, don't like the song very much. Ha, ha. Thanks for reading and please review! I'll give you a giant pack of Juicy-Juice juice boxes. They're so mad good!


	3. Magazines and Being Raw

**A/N: **Five reviews! That's five more than I expected! Haha. I've had a pretty cruddy day so I don't know how this chapter will turn out… But thanks for reviewing!

**Long lost sorrow: **Yeah, I've had two requests for "Don't Cha" thus far. I can think easily of where it would work, I just can't find the right lyrics and also the song is _very_ sexual. Like almost something you don't want to relate to Harry Potter. Hahaha. That made no sense. Thanks for reviewing, though!

**WEASLYTWINWANNABE: **I won't tell you anything about who's getting together yet! You'll just have to wait and see. Haha. Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like it.

**Shan: **Hhahahahahahha. I love you too! Thank you for always reviewing my lame stories!

**Weirdsista: **Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm sorry you don't know a lot of the songs! I tried to do somewhat well-known ones but maybe I didn't succeed… But thanks for reading and reviewing anyway!

**Mrs.Ginny Weasley-Potter:** Thanks so much! I like it when I make people laugh… Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and the songs belong to… whoever wrote them… which was not me…

**0000**

Ginny still hadn't gotten a response from Harry after her performance. And it had already been a full twenty-four hours!

"Harry," she finally said, approaching him in the common room precisely twenty-four hours later, "I think we should go out."

He looked up from the nothingness he was staring at. "Sounds cool." They proceeded to "pound" – aka: punch their fists together – and she walked away.

Similarly, in the Slytherin dungeons, a similar situation was occuring. Except it was the exact opposite.

Draco sighed before walking determinedly straight toward Pansy at her seat on the couch. Unforunately, he was so determined that he walked straight into Blaise Zabini. Who happened to step in his path.

"'Sup, son?" Blaise questioned menacingly.

"…Nothing…" Draco answered slowly. "I'm about to break up with Pansy, if you don't mind."

"Putana!" Blaise spat. There was an awkward silence before he shrugged and stepped aside. "Be my guest."

"Prego…" Draco grumbled, walking past the multicultural wizard. He approached Pansy. "I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye." He turned and went up to his room. He wasn't used to doing that. In fact, Pansy was his first ever long-term relationship. What a milestone.

**0000**

Draco was staring at her from afar. Again.

He slapped himself. Although this time, thankfully, no one saw and would have to interrupt his internal conflict. He had caught himself gazing at the mudblood. He shuddered at the thought of his thoughts. Luckily the bell rang and he could escape. It was time for lunch so he had to head in the same direction that she was. But once they reached the Entrance Hall, the music started.

"Oh, fuck me," Draco moaned quietly to himself.

"They got a lot of girls who know they got it goin' on, but nothin's ever a comparison to you," he continued. "Now can't you see that you're the only one I really want? And all I ever need is what I got with you. Any girl walk by don't matter. 'Cause you're lookin' so much better. Don't ever need to get caught up in jealousy. She could be a supermodel… Every magazine the cover. She'll never, ever mean a thing to me."

The whole hall was stopped dead and staring at him now. Hermione was in the center of it, looking bright red, shocked, and furious.

"She's no you – oh no – you give more than I could ever want. She's no you – oh no – I'm satisfied with the one I got. 'Cause you're all the girl that I ever dreamed. She's only a picture on a magazine. She's no you. She's no you." He started walking slowly toward her. "They got a lot of girls who dance in all the videos. But I prefer the way you do, the way you move. You're more than beautiful and I just want to let you know that all I ever need is what I got with you. Any girl walk by don't matter. Every time you're lookin' better. I think you're perfect – there ain't nothing I would change. She could be a supermodel. Every magazine… the cover. She'll never, ever take my heart away." He stopped moving. "She's no you – oh no – you give more than I could ever want. She's no you – oh no – I'm satisfied with the one I got. 'Cause you're all the girl that I ever dreamed. She's only a picture on a magazine. She's no you. She's no you."

The music changed and Draco started to move around slightly, closer to Hermione. "No one's ever gonna get to me. The way you do, now baby can't you see that you're the one, the only one, who's ever made me feel this way? Nothing's ever coming even close – no. No one's ever been comparable to…" There was a lot of cheesy violin. "Oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't want nothing I don't got. I don't need nothin' but you. I can't get more than you give me, so don't stop anything you do. You're all that. All that and then some. You know what – just what I need. And no girl, no place and nowhere could mean a thing to me."

There was some wonderful violin while Draco attempted to sing the chorus and the backups and everything in between. "She's no you – oh no – you give more than I could ever want. She's no you – oh no – I'm satisfied with the one I got. 'Cause you're all the girl that I ever dreamed. She's only a picture on a magazine. She's no you. She's no you." More cheesy violin. Then there was silence. As usual.

The Slytherins stared at Draco. The Gyffindors stared at Hermione. And some at Draco. Other people who weren't of importance picked one or the other to stare at. Then Hermione ran off. She sprinted up the stairs and disappeared in a flash of frizzy hair. How creative.

"Fuck me!" Draco cursed again.

"Gladly!" Pansy shrieked from a corner and then ran away sobbing down to the dungeons.

**0000**

Draco needed to hide. So he found refuge in the library. Blaise knew he'd be there, though.

"Wuddup, thug?" he greeted, doing a handshake with Draco, who was anything but black.

Draco sighed dramatically.

"Yo, was that shit you sung about Hermione true?" Blaise questioned, cutting to the chase. "Or was you just playin'?"

Draco stared at Blaise. "What do you think?" he asked unhappily.

"Man, I'm hoping it's whack."

Draco stared at his hands on the table. "Well, it ain't whack. It ain't nothing but whack."

"That's a double negative," Blaise explained.

Draco shrugged and leaned back. "Unfortunately, what we sing is the truth. And all the secrets we have will be spilled out into the world like a waterfall running loudly into a pond. Know what I'm sayin'?" Draco pondered. It seemed as though some of Blaise's multiraciality was rubbing off on others.

"Sí."

"So until we figure out what this stupid spell is, everyone will know everything about everyone else."

Blaise nodded. "Arigato."

"Ni-hao."

"That means 'hello'."

"Shut up."

**0000**

"We have to do something about this," Professor McGonagall cried during a teachers' meeting that evening. "This is getting absolutely out of control."

Dumbledore shrugged. "We've done all the reasearch we can, Minerva. We haven't even discovered what this spell is."

Slughorn looked uncomfortable. "I think it's fine," he said. "The students are learning to express themselves creatively."

Professor McGonagall frowned deeply. "It's inturrupting my classes! And the students are dropping behind!"

"I agree with Minerva," Professor Flitwick stated. "It's getting out of hand. And I'm tiny so it doesn't help."

Dumbledore sighed. "We'll continue researching, but I'm finding it somewhat entertaining, so we can just take our time."

**0000**

Hermione and Draco just happened to run into each other in an empty hallway that evening while the teachers were having their meeting and students were doing homework in their common rooms.

They stood facing each other, about fifteen feet apart, the light from the torches illuminating the hall dancing about their faces. He couldn't help but noticing how beautiful the flecks of orange mixed with her chocolatey brown eyes.

They stood for quite some time, both of them standing poised as though ready to pounce on the other one. A tumbleweed blew by.

"Er… Are you going to move?" Draco finally questioned.

"Depends. Are you going to jump me? Sexually?" she retorted.

Draco didn't respond.

"Was it true what you sang to me in the Entrance Hall today?"

Draco stared at the ground in shame.

"I know, the songs are getting the best of us," Hermione voiced. "It's going to be hard to keep secrets now."

Draco nodded, still staring at the glossy marble floor.

"Are you going to move?" It was her turn to ask.

"Depends. Are you going to jump me?"

Hermione giggled. "Sure."

Draco's cloudy eyes lit up excitedly. He leapt into the air and let out a loud exclamation.

"Well, not if you're going to do that."

**0000**

Of course the news was all across the school by the next morning, or else I would have to write about it being spread around but I'm way too lazy to do that. Anyway, everyone knew and some were appaled, some were amused, some were offended, and some were hurt.

"I just really… I don't… I just… He's Malfoy! A pig! A gross… nasty… pig… thing… ferret… monster… bugger… creep… thing… Aaaaah!" Ron ranted on as he and Harry walked downstairs to breakfast the next morning.

"Well he did sing to her," Harry said.

"So?"

"Maybe he really is… In love with her…" Harry shuddered. How icky.

They sat down at the Gryffindor table and Ron was immediately attacked.

"Won-Won!" Lavender exclaimed, throwing her arms around the boy. "How nice to see you!"

"Lav-Lav! I think we should get back together."

"Good idea!"

Ron smirked to himself. Then he realized what he was doing and was about to slap himself, but remembered that that was another Malfoy trait.

On the other side of the Dining Hall, Pansy was sitting, surrounded by people chatting merrily despite recent circumstances, but for some reason she was feeling absolutely down in the dumps.

"Stupid whore… Has to go and steal my man… Rebound… Trashy… She should go throw herself in a dumpster, where she belongs… Disgusting, Mudblood filth… I should shove her head down a toilet and flush it… Still dirty… Gross… Have to do my Charms homework… I wonder what's for lunch… Nasty, slimy, dirty girl… Desperate and easy, she is…" These were just some of the vile remarks Pansy muttered to herself as she ripped a piece of bacon to shreds.

She knew what she had to do.

She waited a minute until the music started and then climbed up on the table. She walked down it until she reached Draco, making sure that her skirt could easily pass for a belt and that her shirt was unbuttoned. A lot.

"I know you like me," she sang, bending down and then up again extremely sexily. Oooh she's just too sexy.

"I know you like me," the background singers – aka other trashy Slytherin girls – added.

"I know you do," Pansy continued.

"I know you do."

"That's why whenever I come around she's all over you. And I know you want it."

"I know you want it."

"It's easy to see."

"Easy to see."

"And in the back of your mind I know you should be home with me." The music changed and Pansy stepped back slightly, doing more sexy dancing as the background singers did the same, except on the floor instead of the table. Right now Pansy was the center of attention. "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don't Cha? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?"

She sat down, facing Draco. "Fight the feeling. Leave it alone." Suddenly she had the ability to kick her leg over Draco and spin around to get back on the table. She had mad skills. "'Cause if it ain't love it just ain't enough to leave a happy home. Lets keep it friendly. You have to play fair. See I don't care but I know she ain't gon' wanna share." She repeated the dance and the chorus. "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don't Cha? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?"

She leapt off the table at this point and joined her background singers. "I know I'm on your mind. I kno we'll have a good time. I'm your friend. I'm fun. And I'm fine. I ain't lying. Look at me – you ain't blind. I know I'm on your mind. I kno we'll have a good time. I'm your friend. I'm fun. And I'm fine. I ain't lying. Look at me – you ain't blind. See, I know she loves you."

"I know she loves you."

"I understand." Pansy didn't know why she was singing that part. She didn't understand and the trashy Mudblood _so_ did not love him.

"I understand."

"I'd probably be just as crazy about you if you were my own man. Maybe next lifetime." She started making her way toward him.

"Maybe next lifetime."

"Possibly."

"Possibly."

"Until then, oh friend your secret is safe with me," she sang seductively right into the fuming blonde boy's ear. "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don't Cha? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?"

There was a giant applause and lots of cheering from the Slytherin boys – besides Draco – when they finished. Pansy giggled and took a bow before shooting a death glare at Draco and sitting down.

Dumbledore banged on the side of his goblet and stood up. "Lets keep the performances rated R please."

Slughorn leaned toward Snape. "I liked it!"

**0000**

**A/N: **I don't know if the "Don't Cha" lyrics were wrong. I've never actually heard that song all the way through. And I know that I left out Busta Rhymes' parts, but I didn't really know how to incorperate them well because I've never heard the whole song. But I tried. Haha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Review and I'll give you one of these chocolate bars that are really good. They're like white and dark choclate with this really good butter crunch stuff. It's amazingly delicious.


	4. In the Kitchen and In the Crowd

**A/N: **Once again, five more reviews than I expected. Thank you all!

**Long lost sorrow: **Haha, that's funny. At my old school they had the WORST DJs ever. My new school is so fancy and it's in the middle of nowhere so they get like a radio station to DJ it! Thanks for reviewing and I'm sorry I made you hungry!

**Shan: **Thank you! I love you! I'm glad you think it's funny. Hmm… I'll take your suggestions into consideration. Haha. I wish I was creative enough to write my own songs! I know it's a lot like the Buffy musical… heh… Thanks for reviewing!

**Wicheania: **Thank you for reviewing! I'm so glad you liked it! I like Blaise's mysterious race, too… I can never figure out what race he is!

**Mrs. Ginny Weasley-Potter:** Yes, Draco and Hermione are dating now. I'm sorry I didn't make that so clear in the chapter. Thanks a lot for reviewing! I really, really appreciate it!

**sleepless2night: **Okay, more is now! Haha. Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters or the songs.

**0000**

By now it was Saturday and people were bursting into song like crazy. Dean – with the help of Ron, Harry, and Seamus – burst into a rendition of "Help" in the middle of a Transfiguration test the previous day. Ernie MacMillain started rapping "Lose Yourself" in the middle of a hallway on his way to breakfast that morning. But those were just a few. Truthfully, there were outbursts from all different classes at least twice an hour. Teachers weren't getting anything done. But the majority of teachers – namely Dumbledore and Slughorn, who for some reason proved to be extremely powerful and influential among the professors – didn't want to do anything about it, so the singing continued.

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room, Lavender was thinking about how happy she was that she was dating Ron again. She loved making out with him. She truly did. She loved just being around him and listening to his silly jokes and flirting with him and pretty much anything that had to do with him. And she was really horny. So, naturally, she had to burst into song.

She saw him sitting on a couch near the fire with Harry, Dean, and Seamus, laughing about someone's recent outburst. She walked straight across the room to him and stood right in front of him. The repetative guitar chords started.

"You can dress me up in diamonds. You can dress me up in dirt," she started. "You can throw me like a lineman; I like it better when it hurts. Oh, I have waited here for you. I have waited." She stepped back and started thrashing about when she next started to sing. "You make me wanna lala in the kitchen, on the floor. I'll be your French maid when I meet you at the door. I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up; I want more. You make me wanna – you make me wanna scream." She calmed down and started around the room. "You can meet me on an aeroplane. Or in the back of a bus. You can throw me like a boomerang. I'll come back and beat you up. Oh, I have waited here for you. Don't keep me waiting." She was in the center of the common room now and everyone was staring at her as she started spaz dancing once again. Ron was turning a shade of purple by now as he put his head in his hands, the only one not staring at his girlfriend.

"You make me wanna lala in the kitchen, on the floor. I'll be your French maid when I meet you at the door. I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up; I want more. You make me wanna – you make me wanna lala," she continued, "in the kitchen, on the floor. I'll be your French maid when I meet you at the door. I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up; I want more. You make me wanna – you make me wanna scream."

The other girls in the room; Ginny, Parvati, and Hermione uncontrollably started singing the background "La, la"s.

"I feel safe with you. I can be myself tonight. It's alright with you 'cause you hold my secrets tight. You do. You do," Lavender sang.

"You make me wanna lala, lalala, lalala. Lalala, lala, lalala," sang Lavender and her background singers. "You make me wanna lala, lalala."

Pause.

"You make me wanna lala in the kitchen, on the floor. I'll be your French maid when I meet you at the door. I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up; I want more. You make me wanna – you make me wanna lala in the kitchen, on the floor. I'll be your French maid when I meet you at the door. I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up; I want more. You make me wanna – you make me wanna scream."

"You make me wanna lala, lalala, lalala, lalala, lala, lalala," came the echoey sounds from Lavender and the three other girls. "You make me wanna lala, lalala, lalala, lalala, lala, lalala."

"You make me lala, lala," sang Ginny and Hermione over Lavender and Parvati's "lala"-ing. "You make me lala, lala."

"Lala, lalala, lalala, lalala, lala, lalala," Lavender faded out and the song was over. She turned to Ron expectantly, a broad smile spread across her fakely tanned face.

"Well that was beautiful," Seamus commented.

Ron buried his head farther in his hands.

"I couldn't help it, Won-Won." Lavender's smile got bigger.

**0000**

Although the outbursts were funny, students started getting more and more annoyed when they themselves were singing. But it was quite the contrary when someone else was doing the embarrassment. Saturday went by with Ginny singing a rendition of "Sweet Sixteen" and Sunday contained Seamus Finnegan's version of "Thriller" and Ernie MacMillain's of "Lose Yourself". Plus many more. It proved to be highly entertaining but also slightly dull.

By Monday the students were exausted and wanted nothing more than for the songs to only arrive at the perfect times. The perfect times being during tests, when they could be late to class, and occasionally during those dull meals. But when studying is in progress or when one is in a very enticing conversation with a Sex God, singing isn't exactly helpful.

Harry wished he had some self-control for this stupid spell that day in Herbology.

"Dear mother, can you hear me whining?" he started, climbing atop the table everyone was working at. This spell tended to make people climb on things, as well as sing. "It's been three whole weeks since that I have left your home. This sudden fear has left me trembling. 'Cause now it seems that I am out here on my own and I'm feeling so alone." He walked down the table toward a perturbed looking Professor Sprout. "Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken homes. Some call it slums, some call it nice. I want to take you through a wasteland I like to call my home. Welcome to paradise."

There was some magically generated guitar and Harry jumped off the table. "A gunshot rings out at the station. Another uchin snaps and left dead on his own. It makes me wonder why I'm still here. For some strange reasin it's now feeling like my home. And I'm never gonna go. Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken homes. Some call it slums, some call it nice. I want to take you through a wasteland I like to call my home. Welcome to paradise."

The music slowed down and Harry stopped, midmovement. It started to slowly fade in again and he started moving again. Quiet laughter could be heard about the room while others were just annoyed at the inturruption.

Harry leapt on the table once again. "Dear mother, can you hear me laughing? It's been six whole months since that I have left your home. It makes me wonder why I'm still here. For some strange reason it's now feeling like my home. And I'm never gonna go. Pay attention to the cracked streets and the broken homes. Some call it slums, some call it nice. I want to take you through a wasteland I like to call my home. Welcome to paradise. Oh, paradise." Then it was gone as quickly as it came.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, slightly embarrassed when the song finished.

Hermione tried to contain her huff of discontent while the other students freely expressed them or began to laugh.

**0000**

The next morning, very early – like before dawn – Blaise happened to discover Pansy sitting alone and sadly in front of the fire in the Slytherin common room. She looked so sullen and depressed. It was sad.

"Hey, Pansy," he said, approaching the girl.

She sighed dramatically. "Hi, Blaise."

"Do you want to go out?"

"Why, Blaise, I thought you'd never ask!" she exclaimed, leaping into his arms, almost causing them to fall into the flames.

When they finally pulled apart, Blaise expressed, "Yeah, boii."

**0000**

The next musical inturruption that was of any signifigance to this story didn't occur until that Saturday during lunch. The boys were all feeling an extreme overload of love and joy from their significant others. They could barely contain it.

The feaux techno poppy music started and Harry leapt into the air. "Yeah!" he yelled. But it was held longer than that.

Suddenly Draco and Ron leapt up, too and started doing the same dance moves in sync with Harry.

"I may run and hide when you're screamin' my name, alright," Ron started.

"But let me tell you now, there are prices to fame, alright!" Draco added.

"All of our time spent in flashes of li-ee-i-ee-i-ee-ight!" came from Harry.

Then, all together – this time including Blaise in the background – "All you people, can't you see? Can't you see? How you're love's affecting our reality. Everytime we're down, you can make it right and that makes you larger than life."

They all did dance moves in sync again.

"Lookin' at the crowd and I see your body sway, come on," Draco sang.

"Wishin' I could thank you in a different way, come on!" Ron squeaked.

"All of our time spent keeps us alive!" sang Harry.

"All you people, can't you see? Can't you see? How you're love's affecting our reality. Everytime we're down, you can make it right and that makes you larger than life."

"Larger than li-i-i-i-i-ife!" Harry sang.

Then, they all sang together in quiet, still voices and their bodies matched their tones. "All of our time spent keeps us ali-ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-ee-ive!" There was more techno pop as the boys danced together in the middle of the Dining Hall and made complete fools of themselves. But it was for love, of course.

"All you people, can't you see? Can't you see? How you're love's affecting our reality. Everytime we're down, you can make it right and that makes you larger than life."

They repeated the chorus with little background parts and such, but I don't feel like writing them all out. Then they were done and they sat down again as though nothing had happened. They were too embarrassed to speak.

**0000**

**A/N: **That was really short. And I don't know why. There were three songs in it! I've been feeling sort of a writer's block for this story… I'm sorry about Harry always singing Green Day. Does no one else see the resemblence between Harry and Billie Joe? Oh, and let me inform you that it's really hard to write out Backstreet Boys lyrics while listening to "Gold Digger". Very hard. Something smells and I think some random animal pooped outside my dorm room. If you review I'll give you air freshener. That actually smells good.


	5. Superman and Other Plans

**A/N:** Wow! I have never gotten this many reviews for one chapter in my entire life, I think… Keep it up! Thank you all SO MUCH!

**MOONFLOWER: **You made _my_ day by reviewing! Thanks so much!

**Hauntingly: **Thanks for the suggestions and the review!

**Ravenclaw Gal93:** It's a stretch but it's funny if you think about it. Remember, this is supposed to be a complete joke. Thanks so much for reviewing, though!

**Wicheania: **Thanks so much! I can never figure out how to end the songs because it all seems like it would be so awkward! So I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reviewing!

**xxlei: **I didn't memorize all these songs! Hahaha are you crazy? I mean I know some of them but I haven't memorized a lot… I'm sad that Draco's not in the movie. He's a big character! It's like they never have Dean or Seamus either. Makes me sad. Which is the one where Dean and Seamus (mostly Seamus) turn against him? I hope it's this one and they have a lot of Seamus… I'll stop babbling now.

**Morgan: **I'm glad I made you laugh! But I'm sorry it was during class. One time I started laughing during class when we were talking about like Martin Luther King Jr. or something and it was completely inappropriate. I felt really bad… But thanks so much for reviewing!

**Shan: **Yay! I love Yoda! Yoda I love! I'll stop now… Anyway, haha Bonny and Clyde that's a funny song, especially for Blaise and Pansy to sing! I laughed when I read your suggestion. I love you!

**Mrs.Ginny Weasley-Potter:** I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for your reviews; I appreciate it so much.

**x9xQueenxofx9xthexHeartagramx9xFrankiexShadowsx9x: **Thanks so much for reviewing and I'm really glad you liked it! I noticed you wrote an Angel story… Do you like Buffy by any chance, too? And you said "wicked" a lot. Do you by any chance live in Massachussetts? Wow I sound like a weird stalker. Sorry! And thanks a lot for reviewing!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the songs or the characters.

**0000**

The next week went by immaculately. Well, there were lots of musical inturruptions, but besides that, everyone's relationships were running completely smoothly. Even the obnoxious songs were starting to no longer bother them. This was most likely because they were becoming so used to them.

For instance, people were actually somewhat amused when Harry burst into song a Saturday evening exactly one week later in the common room. He was sitting in front of the fire when he noticed that there was a little hangstring (like a hangnail, only for clothes) hanging off his sweater.

"I'm me," Harry began monotonously. "Me be. Goddamn. I am. I can. Sing and hear me. Know me." The music got louder and he stood up. "If you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as I walk away." He sat down again. "Oh no. it go. It gone. Bye-bye –"

"Bye," Dean echoed from a corner, where he was playing Black Jack with a third year. He dealt.

"Who I," Harry continued. "I think. I sink. And I die!" He jumped up again. "If you want to destroy my sweater –"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Seamus chimed in.

"Hold this thread as I walk away," came from Harry.

"As I walk away!" Dean expressed.

"Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked," Harry continued to sing, this time with Ron as backup. "Lying on the floor –"

"Lying on the floor!" cried Dean.

"I've come undone," sang Harry and Ron.

There was a lot of guitar for a minute as people sat and watched and Harry walked around the couch to the center of the common room.

"If you want to destroy my sweater –" Harry started up once more.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Seamus chimed in.

"Hold this thread as I walk away," Harry and Ron sang slightly differently.

"As I walk away!" Dean added.

"Watch me unravel," Ron sang, with Harry joining in, "I'll soon be naked."

"Lying on the floor!" Harry sang.

"Lying on the floor," sang Ron, taking over Harry's cool and collected attitude.

"I've come undone," sang Harry and Ron.

"If you want to destroy my sweater," Ron started again as Harry sang, "I don't want to destroy your tank top," at the same time.

"Let's be friends and just walk away," Harry shouted enthusiastically.

"Hold this thread as I walk away," Ron sang boringly. "Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked."

"It's good to see you lying there in your Superman skivvies," Harry sang more calmly.

"Lying on the floor!" Dean shouted.

"Lying on the floor," came from Harry, Ron, and Seamus. "I've come undone!" They held the note for a while because they're talented like that. Then there was much guitar… For a long time.

"Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo," Harry started. Dean, Seamus, and Ron soon joined in. "Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo. Oo woo-oo-oo."

The four boys sat down again to the sounds of the dying guitars and small fading piano. That was a lot of "Oo woo-oo"s.

**0000**

"I'm really glad you like me, Draco," Hermione said disgustingly as they sat together in their secret library nook.

"Me too," he said stupidly.

"I've always had a secret crush on you," she confessed. "Remember when I punched you our third year?"

Draco nodded. He remembered well. Very well.

"Well, I really did it because I thought it was the closest I'd ever get to touching your face," she explained.

"Really? Me too!"

Hermione giggled. What a cooincidence. She checked her watch. "Maybe we should head over to dinner," she suggested.

"Good idea."

The two left the library and headed toward the Dining Hall. The only thing Draco disliked about his relationship with Hermione was that he usually had to sit at the Gryffindor table for most meals. This is because the Gryffindors were more accepting of him than the Slytherins were of Hermione.

The two sat down at the Gryffindor table with their usual group of Lavender, Harry, Ron, and Ginny with the occasional Parvati, Dean, Seamus, or Neville on the side. They started into an avid conversation about something and then Draco started to notice it again. He had hoped that he had been imagining it before, but there was no mistaking it now; Hermione was an incessant flirt with Ron. It was sort of gross. But she was always hitting his arm playfully or laughing very enthusiastically at all his jokes. It was grotesque.

He cleared his throat. "So, I heard you broke into song about sweaters yesterday, Harry?" Draco inturrupted purposely.

Ron laughed.

"Yup," Harry said.

"Why?" Draco asked in his most polite voice. The last thing he wanted to do was have Hermione know that he still secretly resented her annoying Gryffindor friends.

"I saw a hangthread on my sweater," Harry answered.

"You mean a hangstring?" Draco corrected.

"Oh, yeah."

"What's a hangstring?" Ginny asked curiously.

"It's like a hangnail, only with clothes," Harry explained.

"That makes no sense." It was the only intelligent thing Ginny had said in her entire life.

**0000**

As the week went on, Draco couldn't help but notice Hermione's lack of focus on him and severe amount of focus on Ron. They had only been dating for Author-can't-keep-count weeks and Draco really liked her. First he was just sad. Then his sadness turned into depression. Then into denial. Then into anger.

And it all overflowed when he entered the Dining Hall Sunday night, exactly a week after his thoughts first started to blossom. There Hermione was, sitting with Ron and laughing, flirting, giggling.

The music started. It sounded like rain and Gregorian chants.

"You were my sun," he said from his spot at the entrance of the Dining Hall. "You were my earth." The entire room seemed to turn in slow-motion to face him. "But you didn't know all the ways I loved you. No." He started walking through the Dining Hall, not by Hermione yet. "So you took a chance. Made other plans. But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down. No." He did a little dance move. "You don't have to say what you did. I already know. I found out from him. Now there's just no chance for you and me. There'll never be. Don't it make you sad about it." He stopped between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables, facing her. "You told me you loved me, why did you leave me all alone? Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone. Girl I refuse, must I be confused with some other guy? Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn to cry. Cry me a river. Cry my a river. Cry me a river. Cry me a river, yeah, yeah."

He started walking again, this time heading for Hermione. "You know that they say some things are better left unsaid. It wasn't like you only talked to him, and you know it."

"Don't act like you don't know it," Blaise stood up and sang with Draco.

"All of these things people told me keep messin' with my head," Draco continued.

"Messin' with my head," Theo and Blaise sang in unison in the background.

He stopped right in front of Hermione now, but stood perpindicular to her, not bothering to look her in the eye. "You should have picked honesty, then you may not have blown it. Yeah."

"You don't have to say," Blaise and Theo sang.

"Don't have to say," Draco sang as though he wasn't even thinking as he started to walk again.

"What you did," came from Blaise and Theo.

"What you did."

"I already know," sang Blaise and Theo's oddly prepubescently high-pitched voices.

"I already know."

"I found out from him." This Draco sang with his background singers.

"Now there's just no chance," Blaise and Theo continued.

"No chance."

"For you and me."

"You and me."

"There'll never be," Blaise and Theo finished.

"And don't it make you sad about it." Draco turned to face the reciever of his song. "You told me you loved me, why did you leave me all alone? (All alone) Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone (when you call me on the phone). Girl I refuse, must I be confused with some other guy? (I'm not like them, baby) Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn (your turn) to cry. Cry me a river. (Go on and just) Cry my a river. (Go on and just) Cry me a river. (Baby go on an just) Cry me a river, yeah, yeah." It was really hard to sing the background and lead vocals at the same time.

"Oh," Draco sang rather femininely.

"The damage is done, so I guess I'll be leavin'," Blaise decided, switching races.

"Oh," Draco repeated.

"The damage is done, so I guess I'll be leavin'."

"Oh."

"The damage is done, so I guess I'll be leavin'."

"Oh."

"The damage is done, so I guess I'll be le-le-le-le-leavin'." This time Blaise's voice was all chopped like the disc was scratched.

"You don't have to say," Blaise and Theo sang once more when Blaise was back to his original race of that day.

"Don't have to say," Draco sang.

"What you did," Blaise and Theo repeated.

"What you did."

"I already know," came the background vocals.

"I already know."

"I found out from him." Draco sang this with Blaise and Theo, once more.

"Now there's just no chance," the other two continued.

"No chance."

"For you and me."

"You and me."

"There'll never be," Blaise and Theo finished.

"Don't it make you sad about it." Draco was in front of Hermione by now and looking straight at her.

"Cry me a river," Theo and Blaise commanded quietly.

"Go on and just," Draco begged.

"Cry me a river," sang Theo and Blaise.

"Baby, go on and just," Draco moaned.

"Cry me a river."

"You can go on and just."

"Cry me a river. Yeah, yeah… Cry me a river."

"Baby go on and just." Draco was doubling over emotionally.

"Cry me a river." Blaise and Theo continued to sing without emotion.

"Go on and just."

"Cry me a river."

"Oh-oh baby cry."

"Cry me a river."

"Don't wanna cry no more, yeah, yeah."

"Cry me a river," a bunch of random fifth year girls started singing. "Cry me a river. Oh, cry me a river. Oh, cry me a river. Oh, cry me a river."

"Cry me, cry me," Draco whined quietly, walking away from Hermione.

"Oh, cry me a river," sang the fifth year girls.

"Cry me, cry me-e-e-e," sang Draco.

"Oh, cry me a river."

"Cry me, cry me."

"Oh, cry me a river."

"Cry me, cry me-e-e-e."

"Oh, cry me a river."

"Cry me, cry me."

"Oh, cry me a river."

"Cry me, cry me-e-e-e."

"Oh, cry me a river."

"Cry me, cry me."

The music stopped and there was a weird techno laughing noise. And then it was over. This was probably the most shocking performance of all. The silence remained a full 2.34692 seconds longer than normal.

**00000**

**A/N: **That was over ten pages! It's because Cry Me a River is a very complicated song to type. Anyway, please review. And that weird talk about punching between Draco and Hermione was supposed to be sickeningly cheesy. I feel like I need more dialogue and less singing and commentary sometimes… So I added it… If you review I'll give you cheddar rice crackers! They're delicious!


	6. Pink Ribbon and Ain't No Lie

**A/N:** Thanks to eveyone who reviewed! Sorry it's taking me so long to update!

**xxlei:** I love rhymes! Haha. I'm glad you think it's funny!

**Long lost sorrow:** Haha. I actually wrote that over several days. And I probably will with this one, too. That's why it takes me forever to update!

**pAdfOOt'sLiLrOckchick**I'm glad you like it! I'll see if Voldemort will work into the plotline. Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Shan: **Yeah, Hermione and Draco are dating, silly billy! Review my other stories! Haha. Sorry it takes me so long to update this.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the songs or the characters.

**0000**

The next day, Pansy was making out with Blaise in their makeout spot when Draco stopped by.

"Dude, Blaise, we have to go do that secret thing for boys only!" he cried.

Blaise pulled apart from his girlfriend and looked up. "Oh, right!" He jumped to his feet.

"Wait, Blaisey, where are you going?" Pansy asked.

"You're a girl, you wouldn't understand," Blaise responded before running off with Draco.

Pansy folded her arms and pouted. Blaise had been doing that a lot lately; treating her like a small child and not letting her do things just because she was a girl. Most people might consider this to be things that were done out of endearment. But not Pansy. She could be a damn righteous feminist when she wanted to be.

So Pansy decided right then and there that she had had enough.

**0000**

Harry realized that most of the relationships that were previously going successfully in his class were now simply falling apart at the seams. He was getting a bit annoyed at Ginny so he decided to call things off while he wasn't under the influence of any singing spells before they took over him and made him sing to her about how much she sucks, or something.

"Hey, Harry!" she cried excitedly, throwing herself down next to him in the Common Room. She tried to kiss him but he pushed her away.

"Ginny, I think she would call it off," he said.

"What?" She was confused.

"I just don't think our relationship is right," Harry said.

Ginny looked sad. "Oh, fine," she said, looking slightly purturbed and leaning back against the couch.

"Sorry."

She shrugged.

**0000**

"Can you please pass the mashed potatoes?" Pansy asked Milicent Bulstrode that evening in the Dining Hall. She reached for the large bowl until Blaise suddenly intercepted the pass.

"It's heavy," he explained, setting it down before his girlfriend.

"Ooooh," Pansy grumbled under her breath, narrowing her eyes into little slits.

The music started and she turned to face Blaise.

"Take this pink ribbon off my eyes," she sang. "I'm exposed and it's no big surprise. Don't you think I know exactly where I stand? This world is forcing me to hold your hand!" She stood up angrily. "'Cause I'm just a girl, little ole me. Don't let me out of your sight. I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite. So don't let me have any rights. Oh! I've had it up to here." She started walking along next to the Slytherin table. "The moment that I step outside. So many reasons for me to run and hide. I can't do the little things I hold so dear. 'Cause it's all those little things that I fear! 'Cause I'm just a girl – I'd rather not be 'cause they won't let me drive late at night. I'm just a girl; guess I'm some kind of freak! 'Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes. I'm just a girl take a good look at me; just your typical prototype. Oh! I've had it up to here."

There was a lot of music for a moment as Pansy walked around the room making angry faces at people. She was expressing herself.

"Oh! … Am I making myself clear?" She calmed down again, standing in the middle of the Dining Hall. "I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl in the world. That's all that you'll let me be!" She started running around. "I'm just a girl, living in captivity. Your rule of thumb makes me worrysome. I'm just a girl – what's my destiny? What I've succumbed to is making me numb! I'm just a girl, my apologies. What I've become is so burdensome. I'm just a girl – lucky me! Tweedle-dum there's no comparison. Oh! I've had it up to – Oh! I've had it up to! Oooooooh… I've had it up to… Here." She held up her hand to show just how far she'd had it up to.

"Brotha, you've got some shit on your hands now," Draco broke the silence and said to Blaise, his white voice echoing through the Dining Hall.

"Stop stealing my race, son!" Blaise retorted.

**0000**

It was only Monday night and Pansy and Blaise, Draco and Hermione, and Harry and Ginny had all withered away. Well, their relationships did, at least. Everyone was wondering whether or not Ron would jump on the bandwagon like he usually did and call things off with Lavender, or whether Lavender would for some reason get fed up with Ron and then break up with him. But they toughed it out, moving through the days with tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Lavender actually started trying her hardest to make the relationship continue on as smoothly as it had. But in the end, it just messed things up.

The end being that Friday. 90's pop started to fill the hall during dinner, of course, while everyone was attempting to eat their chicken peacefully.

"Hey, hey…" Ron started.

"Bye, bye, bye!" Blaise, Harry, and Draco joined in. "Bye, bye!"

"I'm doin' this tonight. You're probably gonna start a fight. I know this can't be right – hey, baby, come on," Ron sang. "I loved you endlessly when you were there for me. So now it's time to leave and make it alone."

"I know that I can't take no more, it ain't no lie," Blaise joined in, turning into a white kid with a mini Jew-fro, expressing his feelings on his relationship. "I wanna see you out that door. Baby, bye, bye, bye!"

"Bye, bye!" the other three sang in the background, running up to the front of the room to prepare for the mad dance moves they were suddenly inclined to do.

"Don't wanna be a fool for you," the four sang in the front of the room. "Just another player in your game for two."

"You may hate me but it ain't no lie, baby," Draco sang.

"Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye!" the other three joined in. "Don't really wanna make it tough. I just wanna tell you that I had enough."

"It might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie, baby," Harry sang.

"Bye, bye, bye!" sang quartet in unison.

"Just hit me with the truth," Draco continued. "Now, girl you're more than welcome to. So give me one good reason – baby, come on. I live for you and me and now I really come to see that life would be much better once you're gone."

"I know that I can't take no more, it ain't no lie," sang Harry. "I wanna see you out that door, baby. Bye, bye, bye!"

"Bye, bye!" came from the other three.

Then the chorus came again; "Don't wanna be a fool for you. Just another player in your game for two."

Ron had his chorus solo: "You may hate me but it ain't no lie, baby –"

"Bye, bye, bye! Bye, bye!" sang the four together. "Don't really wanna make it tough. I just wanna tell you that I had enough."

"It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie, baby," sang Blaise.

"Bye, bye, bye!" All four.

"I'm giving up. I know for sure I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more," sang Blaise and Draco together, doing mad dance moves.

"Bye, bye!" added Ron and Harry.

"I'm checkin' out, I'm signin' off. I don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough," continued Blaise and Draco as Ron made his way toward the Gryffindor table.

The music suddenly sounded very mystical, and somehow reminded everyone of water. "I don't wanna be your fool in this game for two," Ron sang to Lavender.

"So I'm leavin' you behind," the other three joined in behind him. 

"Bye, bye, bye!" sang Ron.

"I don't wanna make it tough!" sang Blaise, Harry, and Draco in the background – accompanied, of course, by their dance moves.

"Make it tough!" sang Ron.

"But I've had enough…" came from Blaise, Harry, and Draco.

"Bye, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" sang Draco. "Baby!"

"Bye, bye!" sang Harry and Blaise.

"Don't wanna be a fool for you," Draco sang.

"I don't wanna be your fool…" Harry and Blaise.

"Just another player in your game for two…" Draco.

"I don't wanna be your fool!" moaned Ron at the same time as Harry and Blaise sang, "In this game for two…"

"But it ain't no lie!" the quartet sang together. "Baby, bye, bye, bye!"

"Bye, bye!"

"Don't really wanna make it tough," sang Draco.

"I don't wanna make it tough…" sang Blaise and Harry.

"I just wanna tell you that I've had enough," sang Draco.

"That I've had enough…" sang Blaise and Harry.

"Might sound crazy, but it – " started Ron.

"Ain't no lie!" the other three joined in. "Baby, bye, bye, bye! Bye, bye!"

Ron dropped to his knees before Lavender for effect. She blinked and then burst into tears, running out of the room. There was more silence until Hermione got up in a huff and stomped off behind Lavender to go comfort the girl, dragging Parvati with her.

"It's nice to see that she still is kind enough to comfort others," Blaise whispered to Draco, although everyone heard it as they often did their witty banter.

"Shut up, Jew-fro!" Draco retorted, elbowing his curly blonde friend in the ribs.

**0000**

**A/N: **That was sort of short but "Bye, Bye, Bye" was the absolute _hardest_ song to type ever! There's so much like… overlapping. It's impossible! Don't try it at home, kids… Wow, that was so lame. Anyway, review and I'll give you a pointless iPod Nano!


	7. Armageddon and More Ain'ts

**A/N: **I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to update! I've been really busy with school and stuff and I haven't really felt a lot of inspiration for this story… Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! I got a lot of reviews and I'm really happy! Thanks.

**Gabriella Montez-Bolton: **Thanks so much for your review. I'm glad you liked it! Oh, and I love High School Musical.

**Long lost sorrow: **Yeah, I'm sorry for the extremely slow updates. But thanks a lot for reviewing!

**Lexi the Writer: **Hahaha! Thanks so much for the review. And the boy band dolls! Haha.

**Wicheania: **I'm sorry it takes me forever; I've been so busy with school and things. I've never had this much homework in my LIFE! Lol. Thanks for reviewing.

**xxlei: **Was that sarcastic…? Lol sorry I'm dumb. Thanks for reviewing! Hahaha… Draco's lame… But oh well!

**Shan: **Lol! Hahaha. Yeah I like them a lot too except for fanfiction I just like writing Draco and Hermione more. I don't know why haha. Thanks for reviewing.

**Ravenclaw-heir: **I'm glad you think it's funny! Sometimes I feel like my jokes are really dumb but I write them anyway… Haha so I'm glad you like them. Thanks for reviewing!

**hedwigmail: **Thanks for reviewing! I'm not totally sure what I want to do with the relationships, but we'll see. Maybe I'll use that song; it actually could fit well. Thanks for the suggestion.

**x9xQueenxofx9xthexHeartagramx9xFrankiexShadowsx9x: **Wow, your penname is REALLY long. Hahaha. Thanks a lot for reviewing! And thanks for the suggestions.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. I don't own the songs or the characters or the location or anything. Or Fudge Central ice cream.

**0000**

The week went by with an extreme lull. It seemed as though everyone was avoiding one another. Even people who hadn't been dating – like Harry, Ron, and Hermione, for example – didn't seem to be spending their usual amount of time with each other.

Fewer romantic love ballads or off the chart pop hits were being sung. Mostly just songs about randomness, such as "I Like Big Butts" sung by a very embarrassed Colin Creevey, and "Little Red Corvette" sung by an extremely confused Neville Longbottom.

Even those performances, which should have been highly entertaining and funny, weren't enough to keep the glum students of Hogwarts sane and happy. Harry, in particular, was having trouble with authority. They were really bothering him. He just wanted a break from all the madness and all he was getting was more homework. How was he supposed to be writing Charms essays when Neville Longbottom was bursting into renditions of Prince classics in the middle of the classroom and while other people were rapping and howling at deafening decibels in the common room? It really was too much to be asked of him.

That's why he threw his books down in the middle of a second floor hallway that Monday, exactly a week after his last performance.

"Say, hey!" he cried as loud poppy guitar filled the room (**A/N: **I really thought it was "save me" so correct me if I'm wrong… Sorry for the A/N in the middle of the chapter…). He started stomping around a bit as the guitar continued and he waited for the first verse to begin. "Hear the sound of the pouring rain! Coming down like an armageddon flame."

"Hey!" Ron and Seamus added in the background.

"The shame," Harry continued. "The ones who died without a name. Hear the dogs howling out of key! To a hymn called 'Faith and Misery'."

"Hey!"

"– And bleed; the company lost the war today." The music got louder as the chorus arrived and Seamus and Ron joined in for it. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives! On holiday!"

It was just Harry again. "Hear the drum pounding out of time. Another protestor has crossed the line –"

"Hey!"

"To find the money's on the other side. Can I get another amen?"

"Amen!"

"There's a flag wrapped around a score of men –"

"Hey!"

"A gag, a plastic bag on a monument."

It was chorus time again so Ron and Seamus joined in. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives! On holiday!"

There was a lot of guitar for a while.

"Hey!" the three shouted in an already scared enough second year's face.

There was more guitar. Then there was supposed to be that speaking part, but since it has even _less_ to do with the plotline of the story, they didn't have to speak it.

It was chorus time again, but only Harry sang. "I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives! I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives! This is our lives on holiday!" More crazy guitar and spazzing out on behalf of the three outlaw-rebel-crazy gangstahs. Well, they weren't really any of those things, but especially the last one.

**0000**

All Harry's song really succeeded in doing was make people a few minutes late to their classes. Needless to say, that made him even angrier than he already was.

But another week dragged on and the boys all began to regret everything they'd done. They were mad at themselves for the way they treated their girlfriends and they felt as though they had really overreacted at some moments. They weren't going to dwell in the past, however, and they most certainly weren't planning on admitting to defeat. They _would not_ run back to those girls and show them that they just couldn't live without them. They were going to just suck it up and deal.

Despite their efforts, our young male protagonists knew that they were just too weak. They knew that deep down inside they were softies. And unfortunately this just all had to come out the Sunday after Harry's performance. During dinner, no doubt.

Although, they were not going to beg their ex-girlfriends to let them back into their lives. No, that much they had control over song-selectionwise. They were merely going to sing about regret and deep sadness.

"Yeah…" Ron sang glumly from where he sat limply at the Gryffindor table. "You are my fire. The one desire. Believe when I say. I want it that way."

"But we," Draco joined in, the music getting just slightly louder, "Are two worlds apart. Can't reach to your heart. When you say that I want it that way."

He stood up. "Tell me why."

"Ain't nothin' but a heartache," Harry, Blaise, and Ron sang, standing up and walking toward the front of the room.

"Tell me why," Draco repeated, joining them.

"Ain't nothin' but a mistake," they sang. "Tell me why."

"I never want to hear you say," Draco said.

"I want it that way," sang all four boys – I mean _men_.

"Am I your fire?" Harry sang, stepping in front of the group. "Your one desire? Yes I know it's too late, but I want it that way. Tell me why!"

"Ain't nothin' but a heartache."

"Tell me why!"

"Ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why."

"I never want to hear you say," Harry sang.

"I want it that way."

Now it was Blaise's turn, "Now I can see that we're falling apart from the way that it used to be, yeah. No matter the distance –" Harry joined in on background vocals, "- I want you to know that deep down inside of me…"

For some reason, Theodore Nott stood up and sang the most dramatic and emotional part of the song.

"You are my fire. The one desire. You are," he said.

They all shot him dirty looks before continuing with the song.

"You are!" sang Ron and Blaise.

"You are!" sang Draco and Harry.

There were three beats until Draco broke out, "Don't wanna hear you say!"

"Ain't nothin' but a heartache," sang the other three. "Ain't nothin' but a mistake."

"Don't wanna hear you say…" came from Draco.

"I never wanna hear you say!"

"Oh, yeah," sang Draco.

"I want it that way."

"Tell me why!" cried Ron.

"Ain't nothin' but a heartache," sang the others.

"Tell me why!" repeated Ron.

"Ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why. I never wanna hear you say!"

"I want it that way," sang all four.

"Tell me whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Harry cried.

"Ain't nothin' but a heartache."

"Tell me why!" Harry sang again.

"Ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why," the other boys sang.

"I never wanna hear you say!"

" – Never wanna hear you say…" Harry sang quietly.

"I want it that way."

"'Cause I want it that way," Harry finished.

The _men_ all glanced at their ex-girlfriends. Hermione looked annoyed, Lavender looked like she was going to cry (joyful tears, of course), Ginny looked spacey, and Pansy looked bored.

**0000**

Sadly, after that beautifully performed love ballad, the girls didn't change their views on their old relationships. Even Lavender herself wouldn't get back together with her one and only Won-Won. Not after he treated her how he did and sang her that horrible, mean, demoralizing song of his. Nope, she wouldn't succumb to his charm.

So they all continued on in the torturous school of the song. But eventually, someone was going to have to give in.

**0000**

**A/N: **Aslkdfjlskdsdkfjdslkfjdslkjgeiwnvs. That was so bad. I mean… I guess the songs were okay but that ending… Eeurgh – I'm sorry. Please review; even if it's to say mean things. I deserve them for this crud. I'll give you some delicious Fudge Central ice cream. Yummy.


	8. Morpharotic and Shallow

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I'm sorry the songs are sort of… repetitive, I guess, right now. I'm just trying not to rush into things and there are so many songs I want to use. So please bear with me!

**xxlei: **No what? I don't get it…

**Long lost sorrow: **I'm sorry that you're sad. And I'm sorry my story didn't make you happier. Well, thanks for reviewing and I hope you're feeling better.

**hedwigmail: **I know, he has. I'll try and add him in some more. There's just so much I want to do… And the songs are getting longer and longer…

**Gabriella Montez-Bolton: **I'm glad you liked it! Thanks a lot for reviewing!

**WutevaChica: **Hahaha. I'm glad you're having fun with it. Thanks a lot for reviewing!

**Shan: **Hahaha! I can imagine you like sitting there singing and having Talone be like… "What are you doing? Blah blah…" Nevermind it was funnier in my head. Lol. Thanks for reviewing.

**Frankie: **Lol that's much easier. Haha. Thanks for reviewing. Yeah, I've read FanFiction in class and burst into laughter right at the worst possible moment, so I know what you're feeling, lol.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the songs, people mentioned in songs, characters, or locations.

**0000**

Lavender was feeling sad. She really wanted to take her Won-Won back. She loved him so. But Hermione wouldn't let her.

"You can't give in to this, Lavender," Hermione said. "This is what they want and after what they did to us, are you really going to take him back?"

Lavender sniffled. "Yes."

"No! No, you're not going to," Hermione corrected. "We are righteous feminists and we're not going to let those disgusting pigs people like to call _boys_ do this to us and then get away with it. He broke your heart; are you really going to let him back?"

"Please, Hermione, just let me," Lavender begged, her blue eyes sparkling brightly as she opened them as wide as she could and gazed up at Hermione from her spot on her nicely made bed.

"I can't stop you from doing anything but just remember that I will never again help you with boy problems or be nice to you if you betray me like this," Hermione told her.

Lavender blew her nose into a tissue. "Fine, I guess I won't," she said quietly.

"Good girl." Hermione patted her on her head.

"What are you kids talking about?" Ginny asked, entering the room happily.

"Lavender wants to get back with Ron," Hermione explained. "But I've been trying to gear her in the other direction. She can't let that filthy animal treat her the way he did and then just let him back. No matter what number one hit they sang last night."

"She has a point, Lavender," Ginny said, sitting down next to her friend and putting a comforting arm around her. "Besides, there are always other fish in the sea."

"What?" Hermione snapped. "No there aren't! The point of this is that all men are evil! They just want us to procreate and make little versions of themselves for them. We must take a stand against them and stop this madness. No more men!"

"Have you gone mad?" Ginny asked her frizzy-haired friend.

Hermione just stood there, breathing loudly.

Ginny turned to Lavender. "This is what happens to you when you date a Malfoy."

**0000**

The boys on the other hand, were thinking slightly differently. They were extremely mad at their ex-girlfriends for the lack of attention they were getting from them. They had sang them a completely heartfelt song and gotten nothing from it. Would these selfish girls not understand that they regretted what they did? Clearly not. So they got mad.

That evening, when everyone was crossing through the Great Hall to make their way to dinner, the boys apparently were all thinking the same thing. The music slowly started.

"Posters of love surrounding me," Draco started, leaning against the banister at the end of the staircase, "Lost in the world of fantasy."

"Every night she comes to me and gives me all the love I need," sang Blaise, who now was a man of questionable race, just like himself, who is most likely of mixed background.

"Now this hot girl," Harry started from his spot in the center of the room. "She's not your average girl. She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine. And she's so fine –"

"Damn!" Ron added.

"Designed to blow your mind," Harry continued. "She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen. Woo!"

"I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child," the boys sang together. "Just a little touch of Madonna's wild style with Janet Jackson's smile. Throw in a body like Jennifer's; you've got the star of my liquid dreams."

"Angelina Jolie's lips to kiss in the dark underneath Cindy C's beauty mark," Blaise sang again, now as a most certainly Hispanic boy.

"When it comes to the test, well Tyra's the best and Salma Hayek brings the rest! Oh-ooh-oh!" Ron sang.

"Now this hot girl," Harry repeated. "She's not your average girl. She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine. And she's so fine –"

"Damn!" sang Ron.

"Designed to blow your mind," Harry continued. "She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen. Woo!"

The boys were all in the center of the room now, showing off their sweet dance skills as they sang the chorus.

"I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child. Just a little touch of Madonna's wild style with Janet Jackson's smile."

"Janet Jackson's smile…" sang Draco.

"Throw in a body like Jennifer's; you've got the star of my liquid dreams."

"Looks ain't everything; she's got the sweetest personality," sang Ron.

"Like Halle B…" sang the other three.

"Halle B!" shouted Ron.

"My mama thinks I'm lazy, my friends all think I'm crazy but in my mind I lead the world!" sang Blaise, again as the short Hispanic boy.

"Liquid dreams…" the boys sang mystically.

"She's my…!" Harry sang in the background.

"My liquid dreams… Waterfall and streams, these liquid dreams…" (**A/N: **I'm really sorry to have an A/N in the middle of a chapter but those are the dirtiest lyrics I've ever read in my entire life…)

"Ooooooh!" Ron sang.

"I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child," sang the boys together.

"I dream… I dream…" sang Harry in the background.

"Just a little touch of Madonna's wild style with Janet Jackson's smile."

"Janet Jackson's smile…" came from Ron.

"Throw in a body like Jennifer's; you've got the star of my liquid dreams."

"My liquid dreams!" sang Ron.

"I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child."

"Liquid dreams… Liquid dreams… Liquid dreams…" came from Harry.

"Just a little touch of Madonna's wild style with Janet Jackson's smile. Throw in a body like Jennifer's; you've got the star of my liquid dreams."

"My liquid! My liquid! You've got my liquid dreams!" sang Harry.

The boys continued singing the chorus until the song faded out. The Great Hall was completely silent. First of all, that was the most blatantly sexual and gross song most of those people had ever heard. And second of all, it was a complete slap in the face to all of their ex-girlfriends. It just was a somehow more polite way of saying "I don't miss you at all; every night I go to sleep and have wet dreams about beautiful actresses and models that three quarters of the four of us have never even heard of."

**0000**

Now everyone was sad, not just the girls and not just the boys. Even Hermione was starting to get just a teensy bit sad, although she wouldn't dare admit that to anyone. She couldn't help but gaze across the Dining Hall at Draco during every meal.

The boys felt very dumb. They wished that they had the ability to control their outbursts; then they wouldn't have sung such a stupid song.

Harry was especially perturbed. Usually he was very easygoing and relaxed and didn't care much about this stuff, but he just felt like a jerk. He didn't want to treat Ginny badly, but he really felt as though he had. He liked her a lot, even though she was just a bit annoying at times.

He decided to go on a late night walk by himself. So around midnight he left the Gryffindor dormitories and headed about on his own, wandering aimlessly throughout the building.

Unfortunately for him, many others had similar ideas.

But we can get back to that later. For now, Harry was alone in a fifth floor corridor when suddenly a burst of singing sensation swept through his body as the guitar music filled the brightly lit hallway.

"I walk a lonely road; the only one that I have ever known," Harry began, leaning against a wall dramatically. He stood up from it. "Don't know where it goes but it's only me and I walk alone." He started walking. "I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams, where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone. I walk alone, I walk alone. I walk alone, I walk a –" The music got louder. "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. 'Till then I walk alone."

Little did Harry know that just around the corner Draco was feeling the same way, and that just down the hall behind a statue Ron was feeling the same way, and just up the stairs behind a tapestry, Blaise was feeling the same way, too. And all alone in their rooms, the girls were feeling the same way, as well.

"Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh," Harry continued, walking slowly and mopily down the marble hallway. "Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh… I'm walkin' down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind. On the borderline of the edge and where I walk alone. Read between the lines; what's fucked up and everything's alright. Check my vital signs and know I'm still alive and I walk alone. I walk alone, I walk alone. I walk alone, and I walk a – My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. 'Till then I walk alone." Harry leaned against a wall again. "Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh," he moaned. "Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh… I walk alone and I walk a –"

A lot of guitar started. Harry sort of wandered down the hall depressedly, leaning against the occasional wall or statue for dramatic effect.

The music quieted down. "I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams, where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk a – My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. 'Till then I walk alone." There was more emotional guitar as Harry slumped painfully against a wall and slid down it, staring first down at the cold marble floor and then up to the ceiling. The music finally ended and he stayed in his sad position, slipping back to his dormitories later that night – or morning, rather – when he felt more comfortable.

The other boys went back to their sleeping quarters unknown to each other. They only heard Harry sing but none of them knew the other had been there, and that they all were sharing the same sad song as a lullaby to their painful night.

**0000**

The next morning everyone felt even mopier than they had the previous day, if not worse. But none would admit to one another their true feelings. Hermione wouldn't dare admit that she had actually cried herself to sleep the night before, and Ginny wouldn't dare say to Hermione that she was longing to have her Harry back to cuddle with. Lavender had learned her lesson about seeking Hermione out for girly help, and wasn't going to risk either another lesbian speech or Hermione's threat about never being nice to her again actually coming true. And Pansy – who was Pansy to complain to? Every other Slytherin was just too wrapped up in their own life to listen to her. Besides, it wasn't like she had ever listened to _them_ in the past. Anyway, she just kept on trying to tell herself that Blaise had been a selfish jerk and that if he was to take her back, he would just be obnoxious and sexist again.

The boys – well, we know the boys problems. Guilt, sorrow, insanity, depression, etc. They have been mopey for quite some time now.

They all continued on through their dreary lives as though stepping through thick, mucky fog everyday just to get from class to class to dormitory to class again. Everything was a chore and everything was sad because they all missed each other but had too much pride to say it. Sigh.

**0000**

**A/N: **Okay I have a lot to say. 1: I'm sorry that I used O-Town. I thought it would be funny and I know the lyrics are disgustingly dirty and you're all going to laugh at me because I have an O-Town CD but I was young and naïve when Making the Band first aired, and I liked their silly boy band rants! Needless to say I didn't understand the dirty meaning of the lyrics at my innocent little age. 2: PLEASE do not take ANYTHING in this story seriously. Whether it's Harry depressedly singing Green Day or if it's Hermione making a speech about lesbians; it's all a joke. I don't want any of you taking this stuff seriously and thinking I'm some dumb, sappy little moron girl. Because it's all a joke! 3: Sorry for so much Green Day. They just have a lot of songs that are about lots of different subjects and that all happen to work well in this story. 4: For some reason, in my mind everything in Hogwarts is bright and marble as opposed to ugly, dreary wood covered in portraits. This was a really long A/N and for that I apologize, as well. Please review; I'll give you a CD of your choice! Maybe you even have a secret O-Town obsession you're dying to make public!


	9. Freckles and Stereos

**A/N: **Thank you to all the reviewers! I'm sorry for taking so long to update but I got a lot of reviews and for that I am very happy. Thanks!

**Chocolatebrowneyes: **Haha yeah I know that song is very strange… Lol. I'm glad I made you laugh! Thanks for reviewing.

**SilverAngel06: **Thanks! Haha I'm glad you like my song choice because most people just think I'm absolutely crazy. Thanks so much for reviewing.

**Frankie: **Thanks; I'm terrible with lyrics. I am the queen of mishearing them and I hear the most random things, too. Thanks for the correction and the review!

**Shan: **Yay for O-Town! Haha. Thanks for reviewing. You get back from Spain today! Woohoo!

**Hedwigmail: **No, I haven't seen that, but it's actually on my list of movies to see. Unfortunately there are about a billion movies on that list and I never get around to watching them. Haha. Thanks for reviewing.

**JustPeachy123: **Hahaha. Yeah, I didn't think most people would have O-Town obsessions, but I thought I'd put it out there. Thanks for reviewing and for your suggestion.

**Long lost sorrow: **Thanks for the suggestion and here's your CD. Heehee. Thanks for reviewing.

**Wicheania: **I'm glad you liked it! Thanks a lot for your review.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the songs, characters, locations.

**0000**

That Wednesday morning, Draco woke up after a restless night. His sleep was plagued with dreams of Hermione playing tricks on him and never taking him back. He even dreamt that he was an old spinster living alone forever with no one to carry on the family name except for a dozen smelly, hairy cats. He woke up with a start and the first thing he heard when he shot up in bed was music to his ears. Literally.

"Ba, ba-ba, ba, ba-ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba-ba, ba, ba…" He heard coming from somewhere in the distance.

"I'm sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream, all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain," Draco sang. He looked around and noticed he was the only boy left in the dormitory. They were all already up at breakfast, probably. "Before I go insane. I hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread: I think I love you!"

"I think I love you…" sang Pansy, who happened to be standing nearby and was struck with the unfortunate task of singing backup vocals to Draco's song.

"This morning I woke up with this feeling," he continued, climbing out of bed, "I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself; I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it and did not go and shout it when you walked into my room. I think I love you!" With that last line he whipped open the door to his dormitory.

"I think I love you…" sang Pansy, following him as he continued to sing and walk down the hall towards the common room.

"I think I love you! So what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for." He was in the empty common room by now and heading toward the exit. "I think I love you. Isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way." There was lots of calm guitar and "ooh"s as Draco made his way through the empty dungeons. He soon reached the staircase to the Great Hall and ascended the stairs quickly. He crossed the hall and stood inconspicuously at the entrance of the Dining Hall. He knew that he was still only wearing his boxers, but did he care? No! This was about love.

"I don't know what I'm up against," he sang quietly. "I don't know what it's all about. I've got so much to think about. Hey! I think I love you –" he entered the Dining Hall and some people began singing background "aah"s "– so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for. I think I love you. Isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way!" He started walking toward Hermione, now, who was sitting at a partially filled Gryffindor table. Luckily for Draco, there was a good portion of the students missing from the Dining Hall that morning. "Believe me, you really don't have to worry; I only want to make you happy and if you say 'Hey, go away' I will. But I think better still, I ought to stay around and love you. Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face." He stood right in front of her. "Do you think you love me? I think I love you! I think I love you! I think I love you!"

"Oh, I think I love you!" some other Slytherin boys joined in with him. "I think I love you! Oh, I think I love you! I think I love you! Oh, I think I love you!"

The music soon faded out and all that was left was a room full of people staring at Draco, who was staring at Hermione.

"Mr. Malfoy," Professor McGonagall interrupted, "would you be so kind as to put some pants on?"

**0000**

Hermione paced around her dormitory that afternoon after classes. No one did their homework anymore, not while there was all this free entertainment everywhere one turned. Anyway, she was contemplating Draco's song he sang during breakfast. He seemed very genuine, but should she give in? Or would she just end up like she did before, broken hearted because Draco misinterpreted everything she did and was overly sensitive? She sighed and flung herself on her bed. What was a girl to do?

The answer came later that day when she left the dorm with Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati to go to dinner. As she came to the top of the stairs that led to the Great Hall, she saw Draco standing with a few friends in the center of the hall. The music started and she began to descend the stairs.

"Do ya like the freckles on my face? Do ya like my teeth? They're out of place," she sang.

"I'd like to think so," sang the other three girls, over her shoulder.

"Do ya like the funny way I speak? I don't clean my room for weeks and weeks."

"I'd like to think so."

"Do ya, do ya, do ya love me?" the girls sang together, still walking calmly down the stairs. "Do ya, do, do, do ya love me? I-I-I'd like to think so."

"I'd like to think so," sang Ginny.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya love me? Do ya, do, do, do ya love me anyway? I'd like to think so," sang all four of them.

"I'd like to think so," sang Lavender.

"I'd like to think so," sang Parvati.

She was right in front of Draco now. "Do ya like the way I go all shy? I just can't look you in the eye," Hermione continued.

"I'd like to think so," sang the other three.

"Will you stay here for a while? So I can watch you when you smile. I'd like to think so," finished Hermione.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya love me?" sang the four of them, circling Draco in an oddly menacing fashion. "Do ya, do, do, do ya love me? I-I-I'd like to think so." This time, Draco joined in on the "I'd like to think so," as though to emphasize his point.

"I'd like to think so," sang Ginny.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya love me? Do ya, do, do, do ya love me anyway? I'd like to think so," the four continued – plus Draco at the end, of course.

"I'd like to think so," sang Lavender.

"I'd like to think so," sang Parvati.

"Well I hope I don't drive you insane with my big right foot and my unkempt mane," sang Lavender.

"Well I know you love me the way I am so I'll change my ways if I think I can," added Ginny.

"Do ya, do ya, do ya love me?" sang Hermione in a muffled voice, standing still and facing Draco.

"(Do ya love me? Do ya love me?)" her voice echoed.

"I-I-I."

"I'd like to think so," sang Draco.

"Do ya…" sang Hermione.

"Do ya love me?" sang Lavender.

"Do ya, do, do, do ya love me," Hermione continued.

"Anyway…" came from Lavender.

"Do ya love me anyway?" sang Hermione.

The chorus came again. "Do ya, do ya, do ya, love me? Do ya, do, do, do ya love me? I-I-I'd like to think so. Do ya, do ya, do ya love me? Do ya, do, do, do ya love me anyway? I'd like to think so. Do ya, do ya, do ya love me? Do ya, do, do, do ya love me? I-I-I'd like to _think_ so! (I'd like to think so). Do ya, do ya, do ya love me? Do ya, do, do, do ya love me anyway? I'd like to think so."

"I'd like to think so," sang Ginny.

"I'd like to think so," sang Hermione.

The music ended and Hermione was facing Draco in the center of the Great Hall, still. She couldn't figure out why that last song came out. It was almost like a test – she was testing Draco's love for her. Well, it was completely legitimate, wasn't it?

**0000**

Ron sat in the common room later that night. There was a fairly large crowd in there, and Ron was in a somewhat nostalgic mood. Everything was changing so quickly, and he kind of missed the good ole days. He also missed Lavender. A lot. He missed her calling him Won-Won. He missed her annoyingness. He missed her loud voice. He missed her constant need of him being around.

But beyond Lavender, he was just in an altogether nostalgic mood. Suddenly, piano keys began ringing through the room.

"We've been on the run, driving in the sun, looking out for number one," Ron sang. "California, here we come. Right back where we started from."

Harry's head immediately cocked in Ron's direction. Why on earth was Ron singing that song? Harry knew exactly what it was, and was pretty confident that Ron had never been to California before. So what did it mean…?

"Hustler's grab your guns, your shadow weighs a ton. Driving down the 101," Ron continued. "California, here we come. Right back where we started from." Ron didn't know why this song was coming from his mouth, either. He guessed that it was just because it was a pretty nostalgic and heartfelt song. "Californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Here we coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome!" He stood up and started walking around the common room. "On the stereo, listen as we go, nothing's gonna stop me now. California, here we come. Right back where we started from. Pedal to the floor, thinkin' of the roar, gotta get us to the show. California, here we come. Right back where we started from. Californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"California!" Harry, Dean, and Seamus joined in with background vocals.

"Here we coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome!" continued Ron. "California. California. Here we coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome! Oooooh!"

There was some piano and guitar for a while as Ron stood in the center of the room.

"California. California," the four boys sang quietly in unison. "Here we cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome!"

"California," sang Ron loudly. "California. Here we coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome. California, California, here we coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome. California, California, here we cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome!"

The song ended and Ron threw himself down upon the couch next to Harry again.

"That was really weird," Harry commented.

"I know!" Ron agreed, rubbing his throat. Those notes were very, very long. "I've never even been to California."

"Peculiar," Harry said, rubbing his chin.

"I think it's just because I was feeling a bit… reminiscent," Ron explained, "and that song worked. I guess…"

"Very peculiar…" Harry said.

**0000**

**A/N: **I'm sorry that chapter didn't really contain a lot of plot besides the singing… There'll hopefully be more to come in later chapters. I made an iTunes playlist for all the songs I want to include in this story in order, and there are a whole lot of songs that are all about the same stuff bunched together. So expect redundancy! I'm open to suggestions, though! Although I might not use them all. This chapter was kind of bad and for that I apologize. And I'm sorry I used The Partridge Family. I thought it was silly. Oh, and I used Disney Channel Christian pop, as well, and for that I apologize. Heh. Review and I'll give you one of the really delicious cupcakes we have in my house. They're very yummy! I need to shorten my A/Ns…


	10. Pigment and Loss

**A/N: **Okay, my last update for this story was over six months ago, and I apologize. It's taken me so long to update because the playlist I had on my iPod for all the songs and the order I wanted to have for this story got deleted and I was angry. But I remade it, and although it's not as good, it's something.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the songs or the characters.

**0000**

Hogwarts had turned into the mopiest school on its side of the Atlantic. It was surprising how much a little bit of love could do to sadden a group of such normally vivacious young teens. Whoever had put this spell on the school was certainly getting their money's worth.

Harry was wandering through the halls between classes that Thursday. He was extremely glum and the most horrible feeling of sadness was slowly sweeping over him. It finally overcame him so much, he couldn't help but sing about it, of course. He knew it was his turn to let his feelings show when the piano chords were struck and entered his ears from some mysterious essence.

"Empty spaces fill me up with holes," he sang, making his way slowly through the crowded third floor hallway. Luckily for him, it was a very common thru-way for most of the students to take. "Distant faces with no place left to go. Without you, within me, I can find no rest. Where I'm going is anybody's guess."

Draco was just around the corner, and he could hear the piano over the loud chatter of the students. He couldn't, however, hear Harry singing, but the spell guided him to when he should begin singing. "I tried to go on like I never knew you. I'm awake, but my world is half asleep. I pray for this heart to be unbroken, but without you all I'm going to be is incomplete."

With that, a loud chorus of violins echoed through the marble hallways. It was pretty intense. Everyone's heart rate went up.

The crowd was beginning to thin, and the two boys met in the middle, joined by Ron and Blaise, who were ready for the backup vocals.

"Voices tell me I should carry on," Harry sang. "But I am swimming in an ocean all alone." They started walking dramatically down the corridor.

"Baby…" the four sang.

"My baby…" sang Harry. "It's written on your face: you still wonder if we made a big mistake."

"I tried to go on like I never knew you," sang Draco with Ron and Blaise belting it out in the background. "I'm awake but my world is half asleep. I pray for this heart to be unbroken but without you all I'm going to be is incomplete!"

"I don't mean to drag it on," screeched Harry beautifully. He needed to stop to sing this part so he could bend over dramatically as though he was in so much pain. But he was. "But I can't seem to let you go. I don't want to make you face this world alone!"

"…I want to let you go…" sang Ron and Blaise.

"Alo-o-o—o-one!"

"I tried to go on like I never knew you. I'm awake but my world is half asleep. I pray for this heart to be unbroken, but without you all I'm going to be is…"

Of course the girls had to pass this common hallway on the way to their own classes, and they'd heard this Grammy-worthy performance from a few hallways away, even.

"Incomplete," Draco stated. "Incomple-ete…"

The piano slowly came to a conclusion and the song ended. The girls simply turned on their heels and were on their way. One with a keen eye, however, would have been able to see that moment of slight hesitation before their exit.

**0000**

Hermione lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She was incredibly confused. She'd heard the boys' performance in that third floor corridor and didn't know what to think of it. Was the song really expressing their true feelings? Were they making themselves think those things but they really didn't? Did they break out in song just so they could have the girls back only to break their hearts once more after they got bored? She had never been this confused in her life, and you know that when Hermione is confused, there's something wrong with the world.

She was the only girl in her dormitory; everyone else was in the library or the common room. She took a stroll across the room and gazed out the window. It was a cloudy, starless night. She opened the window slightly to let the frigid air seep through. She sighed and something in the grass below, near the lake, caught her eye. It was a boy with white-blonde hair taking a brisk walk in the midnight air. Of course it was Draco. _Her_ Draco. She darted over to her things and grabbed a cloak before dashing out of the room and downstairs. She ignored people who spoke to her as she passed by and hopped through the portrait hole. She made her way silently through the black halls and finally out into the night.

Draco was expecting her; he spun in her direction as she descended the stairs. He walked forward a few feet, but didn't speak. She looked at him and then the music started.

"Let's go back," she sang, "Back to the beginning. Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars, all aligned. Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect. Trying to fit a square into a circle was a lie. I defy." She spread her arms out and looked at the sky. "Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. Cause I want to feel the thunder I want to scream. Let the rain fall down; I'm coming clean. I'm coming clean."

She walked down the rest of the steps as the music continued and started very slowly across the grass. "I'm shedding, shedding every color. Trying to find a pigment of truth beneath my skin. Oooh. Cause different doesn't feel so different. Going out is better than always staying in. Feel the wind! Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. Cause I want to feel the thunder, I want to scream. Let the rain fall down I'm coming clean. I'm coming clean."

The music continued heavily and there were some backup vocals singing, "Rain fall down…" Hermione took a quick glance over her shoulder to see who was taking away from her and Draco's moment by singing along. It was a group of random girls whose grade she wasn't even sure of. They were probably creeping around the halls looking for a place to smoke, or something, and they happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I'm coming clean…" she sang. She finally stopped in front of Draco. She stood right in front of him and her voice suddenly became more echoey and flowy. "Let the rain fall. Let the rain fall, I'm coming." Suddenly it actually started to rain. It started pouring, in fact. It was the dead of winter and it was raining instead of snowing just for Hermione's song.

Sure.

"Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. Cause I want to feel the thunder I want to scream. Let the rain fall down, I'm coming clean." The backup girls who were shivering in the doorway of the school continued singing the chorus as Hermione sang her own thing.

"Oh! I'm coming clean! Oh! I'm coming clean! Let the rain fall. Let the rain fall. Let the rain fall." She tilted her head symbolically to the sky as the pouring rain spilled down on her. How metaphorical. She calmed down and stepped toward Draco so their bodies were actually touching. "Mmm, oh. Let's go back. Back to the beginning."

The girls sighed from their spot in the doorway. It was so romantic.

**0000**

Those backup girls were, of course, intense gossips, so the word of Hermione and Draco's reunion was all across the school before the sun had risen. Rose? Rised? Hmm. Anyway, everyone knew about it, including those other three split couples.

Blaise heard before he even went to bed the night before, so that morning he got straight up and went to find Pansy. He went straight up to her dormitory—in Slytherin, boys are allowed to go up to the girls' dorms—and found her sleeping. Well, it _was_ only 6:00.

"Pansy," he whispered, jabbing her in the shoulder.

She shot up and gasped. "What?" She looked at him and fell back onto her pillows. "Go away."

"No. Can I please talk to you?"

"Go away. What time is it?"

"Did you hear about Draco and Hermione?"

She rolled over and looked at him. "Of course. I'm Pansy Parkinson, you tool."

He chuckled rather forcedly. "Well… It inspired me. I'm really sorry about what I did, Pansy. I should never have treated you how I did."

She rolled back over to face the other direction. "I'm glad you learned your lesson. Now let me sleep." She put a pillow over her head.

He gently pulled it off. "Please, Pansy. Just give me one more chance."

She turned to face him and stared into his deep, dark eyes. He really was gorgeous. And he apologized. So… "Fine."

He grinned. "Yes!" He gave her a big hug and didn't kiss her because it was the morning.

"Will you two get a room?" shouted a muffled voice.

**0000**

Ron had indeed heard about Draco and Hermione and Ron was not happy. He shoveled his cereal angrily into his mouth that morning. He guzzled his pumpkin juice grouchily and let it drip down his chin irately. He pushed his chair out from under the table heatedly and stomped off to his first class furiously. He sat down in his seat incensedly and tossed his hand into the air to answer a question infuriatedly.

In short; Ron was mad.

He voiced his concerns to Harry, Dean, and Seamus during lunch.

"Guys, I'm pissed," he stated, clenching his fist around his spork.

"Why, Ron?" questioned Seamus.

"Because Draco has gone and manipulated Hermione again. He's only going to break her heart one more time."

"Actually, Ron, I think she was the one who broke _his_ heart. If you listened to his song lyrics," said Harry intellectually.

"Bollocks. He's a little ferret, and we all know it."

"Perhaps, but maybe we should give the guy a chance. I think he really likes Hermione," Harry continued.

"Well you just wait. I'm going to end up singing a song about all this and you're going to have to be my backup vocals. Then we'll see who agrees with whom."

Dean shrugged. "Probably."

"I didn't know you had such strong feelings for Hermione, anyway, Ron," said Seamus.

"God. Haven't you read the books?"

Sure enough that moment did come. It came that afternoon. The Slytherins and Gryffindors had long ago signed a Quidditch peace treaty that allowed the two teams to practice on different sides of the pitch at the same time. Ron was getting infuriated, watching Draco's little blonde head bob around like a stupid bobble-head doll. Those things sucked. So Ron's toe accidentally slipped over the line that divided the court in half.

"I'll pretend I didn't see that," Draco joked, smiling broadly.

Ron just wanted to hit him. Instead he started to sing. "You're gonna lose that girl."

Dean and Seamus were watching from the stands and felt compelled to come down to the grass. They soon realized it was so they could, indeed, sing backup vocals. Harry joined in, as well. "Yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl."

"You're gonna lose that girl."

"Yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl!"

"If you don't take her out tonight she's gonna change her mind."

"She's gonna change her mind!"

"And I will take her out tonight and I will treat her kind."

"I'm gonna treat her kind!"

"You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl). You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl!). If you don't treat her right, my friend, you're gonna find her gone."

The other three boys popped out from behind Ron. "You're gonna find her gone!"

"Cause I will treat her right, and then you'll be the lonely one."

"You're not the only one!"

"You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl). You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl!). You're gonna lo-o-o-se (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl!). I'll make a point of taking her away from you."

"Watch what you do!"

"Yeah. The way you treat her, what else can I do?"

There was some fun guitar for a moment and Ron stood there angrily—duh, what else?—and Harry, Seamus, and Dean did a sort of jig-like thing in the background for a bit.

"You're gonna lose that girl (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl). You're gonna lose that girl (lose that girl!). You're gonna lo-o-o-se (yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl!). I'll make a point of taking her away from you."

"Watch what you do!"

"Yeah. The way you treat her, what else can I do?"

"If you don't take her out tonight she's gonna change her mind."

"She's gonna change her mind!"

"And I will take her out tonight and I will treat her kind."

"I'm gonna treat her kind!"

"You're gonna lose that girl."

"Yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl."

Ron took a step forward with every line he sang. "You're gonna lose that girl."

"Yes, yes, you're gonna lose that girl."

"You're gonna lo-o-o-se…"

"You're gonna looose thaat giirl!" Harry, Dean, and Seamus finished.

"What was that about?" Draco questioned.

"Just you wait, you little punk!" Ron spat, pointing his finger in Draco's face.

Draco didn't feel like playing Mr. Nice Guy anymore. "Oh, I'm shaking. You're just a little girl!"

Ouch.

**0000**

**A/N: **Remember that this whole story is a joke and a parody. Especially during "dramatic" parts and when I use words that don't actually exist. Also, I think some of the Hilary Duff lyrics might have been wrong, but I just put in what I thought made the most sense because I like my version better than the websites I looked at. Anyway, please review! Thanks.


	11. Everybody and You

**A/N:** I'm terrible at updating this story, but I just don't write fanfiction that frequently anymore and I'm really busy. Also I don't feel like as many people read this as they used to. Anyway, please review and I'm sorry for the extremely late update!

Also: Whoever wrote that anonymous review about Draco singing Beat It… Wow you freaked the crap out of me. You'll find out why I guess…

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any songs or characters or locations. I don't own much, really.

**IMPORTANT: **How on earth do you make a big line go through the page? Because the only page break that actually shows up when I upload the story is a bunch of zeros, and that looks weird. So please tell me if you know any other ways to break up the sections…

* * *

The next day was a Saturday, and Ron decided to take a trip into Hogsmeade. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anybody, after his Beatle outburst the day before expressing his immense distaste toward Draco and Hermione's relationship. He didn't even want to be close enough to see that girl as a dot in the distance, that's how angry he was. Don't get him started on Draco.

He sat down dramatically at the bar at the Three Broomsticks and ordered a butterbeer. He could feel someone standing next to him. He peered over his shoulder. It was Lavender.

"Hi, Ron," she said timidly.

"Hi, Lavender."

She sat down cautiously on the stool next to his. "I heard about your outburst yesterday on the Quidditch pitch."

Ron took a long gulp of his butterbeer and then slapped it down on the table, letting it slosh onto his hand. He nodded, wiping his chin with his dry hand.

"So, um… Do you really feel that way about Hermione?"

He shrugged. "This spell can make you do some crazy things."

"I know that." She shook her head. "Believe me, I know that."

Ron thought for a second. What better way would there be to get back at Hermione than to get back together with Lavender? It showed that not only was he over her, he liked someone as annoying as Lavender more than he liked her. And that he was mature enough to realize the error in his ways in his intial breakup with Lavender, and now could come to the intelligent conclusion that they were meant to be.

The spell really could make one think insanely.

"You know what Lavender? If you can find it in your kind heart to forgive me, I'd love to go out with you again."

Her face instantly lit up. Her eyes welled up with tears. "I've been hoping everyday since you sang that song to me that you'd want me back again." She leaned over, falling onto Ron for a tight hug.

"Well, I've realized the error of my ways," he said to her. "I missed you, Lavender."

"Oh, I missed you, too, Ron. I missed you, too."

* * *

Little did anyone know, a similar situation was occuring far off in the depths of Hogwarts castle. In the kitchens, to be exact. Ginny was sampling the thousands of chocolates the house elves had prepared for her. She had a few months previous developed a very tight friendship with Dobby, who was working in the kitchens. She visited him regularly, and the house elves often cooked up special treats for her. To go with the theme of relationship problems, they had made her a wide variety of chocolates.

Harry, meanwhile, was wandering aimlessly through the castle, looking how he felt was thoroughly for Ginny. He finally came upon Luna Lovegood.

"Luna!" he cried, spotting her at the other end of a long hallway.

"Harry!" she cried back, thinking they were playing some sort of echo game. "That didn't make a very good echo…"

Harry jogged down the hall to catch up with her. "Luna. Have you seen Ginny?"

"She's probably in the kitchens," Luna told him.

"The kitchens? Why the kitchens?"

"She's become rather good friends with some house elf down there, and she goes there all the time. All you have to do is walk all the way downstairs and find—"

"I know how to get there. Do you perchance know the password?"

"I know every password in the building. It's SexyBack—oh wait, no that was last week's. It's… hmm… Oh, it's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Actually, it might be R-E-S-P-E-C-T. But you actually have to say each letter. Wait, it's R-E-S-P-E-C-T or U-G-L-Y. It might be Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, though. Or it might be some other name, like Cassandra in the Sky with Diamonds. Just try a variation of one of those—"

"Thanks, Luna." With that, Harry disappeared off down the corridor and made his way down to the kitchens. He stopped in front of the familiar painting. He felt kind of silly. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T," he said slowly, making sure he spelled the word right. No response. "U-G-L-Y?" Once again, no response. The subjects of the painting stood eerily still. "Uh… Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." Nothing. "Cassandra in the Sky with Diamonds…?" This was getting a bit ridiculous. "_Ginny_ in the Sky with Diamonds?" The portrait swung open with a bit of a "twang" noise and Harry hopped inside. He found himself standing before a slightly familiar room—he'd been there a few times before—full of row upon row of tables with sinks and stoves and ovens and dishwashers and everything imaginable in a kitchen. Off in the opposite corner he spotted Ginny, stuffing her face with what seemed to be chocolates taken from a huge assortment laid out on a wooden table in front of her. He started running clumsily through the kitchen, darting around house elves carrying trays of hot food and cauldrons of boiling water as he did so. "Ginny!" he cried. "Ginny!"

She looked up, startled. Her face lit up at the sight of him. "Harry!" She jumped up from her seat, only to sit down a few moments later, as though realizing what she had just done.

He approached the table she sat at. "Ginny. I'm really sorry for the way I treated you."

She shrugged, focusing her gaze on a particularly delightful-looking truffle.

"Can you please, _please_ forgive me?"

She sighed dramatically. "Perhaps."

He frowned. "Fine, then. I'll go find someone else. I wonder if Luna's still checking out the echo in that hallway…" He turned around, starting to walk off in the opposite direction. But he hadn't even taken a step before Ginny leapt up once more.

"Wait!" she shrieked.

He turned around.

"Wait. Okay, maybe I can find it in my heart to forgive you. I understand that you're a prick, but if you're genuinely sorry… Then, I want you back."

"Jumpin' Jehoshaphat—yippee!" Harry cried, a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' out to the high hills. He let out a little jump.

"Besides, it didn't really even bother me that much when you broke up with me, anyway."

Harry shrugged. Whatever.

* * *

Now all the old couples were back together again, and they couldn't be happier. They all convened in the Great Hall later that day, purely by accident. They kind of clumped together like some obnoxious group from _90210_ or _The OC_ or something like that. Anyway, it wasn't too long before the music started playing. This time it was some electronically created type of organ with a heavy fake drum in the background. It was kind of hard to tell what it was. All the boys gravitated toward the center of the room, where everyone had reflexively cleared out of.

There was a really long intro to this song. It caused them all to go "Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh," too many times. Not only were our main four singing this part, but the girls were as well—the guys needed dancing partners, for the crazy ballroom dancing they were about to burst into in a few choruses—and even some background dancers who were recruited simply by being in the vicinity. They all were dancing deftly choreographed dance moves. No ballroom dancing just yet. "Awoooooooo!" they all cried, like they were wolves.

"Everybody," Ron finally sang, raising his head toward the heavens. The background dancers had cleared off to the sides of the hall. "Rock your body. Everybody. Rock your body right."

"Backstreet's back, alright!" sang Ron, Draco, Harry, and Blaise all together.

They danced kind of like they wanted to be Michael Jackson, a bit.

"Hey. Oh," sang Harry. "Oh my God, we're back again. Brothers, sisters, everybody sing. We're gonna bring the flavor, show you how. Got a question for you, better answer now. Yeah."

"Am I original?" Draco began.

"Yeah," replied the other three.

"Am I the only one?" asked Ron.

"Yeah."

"Am I sexual?" came from Draco.

"Yeah."

"Am I everything you need? You better rock your body now," sang Ron.

"Everybody. Yeah. Rock your body. Yeah. Everybody. Rock your body right. Backstreet's back, alright!" came from all four guys.

"What's 'backstreet'?" Seamus asked Dean curiously, from his spot on the side of the room. They were about to be summoned my an unknown force—the spell—to do some sweet, kick-ass background moves.

Dean shook his head. "I'm not going to attempt to explain the nineties."

"Alright!"

"Now throw your hands up in the air," was Blaise's part. "Wave 'em around like you just don't care."

"Woo!" sang all girls in the background.

"If you want to party let me hear you yell."

"Awoooo!"

"Cause we got it going on again."

"Yeah, yea-ea-eah!" sang Ron.

"Am I original?" asked Draco.

"Yeah," all four replied.

"Am I the only one?" sang Ron.

"Yeah."

"Am I sexual?" sang Draco, once more.

"Yeah."

"Am I everything you need? You better rock your body now," came from Ron.

"Everybody. Yeah. Rock your body. Yeah. Everybody. Rock your body right. Backstreet's back, alright! Alright!"

"Yeah… oh… yeah… oh… girl, you don't call," sang Harry.

The music now was just a steady, computer-generated drumbeat and some other random amplified noises. All the extras sang their "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh"s and their "Awooo!"s. The ballroom dancing commenced. It was fantastic.

"Everybody. Yeah. Rock your body. Yeah. Everybody. Rock your body right."

"Rock your body right!" sang Blaise.

"Backstreet's back—Everybody."

"Everybody," sang Harry in the background. "Rock your body."

"Yeah. Rock your body."

"Everybody!" sang Harry. "Everybody rock your body."

"Yeah. Everybody."

"—Everybody! Rock your body!"

"Rock your body right."

"Everybody!"

"Backstreet's back, alright!" sang all four guys together in an echoing finale.

"Oh, I'm so happy the gang's all together again!" cooed Lavender, once the singing and ballroom dancing finished.

* * *

Even though they seemed like happy, jolly, haunted mansion buddies when they sang super nineties songs and ballroom danced together, deep inside, many of these boys still had hidden, resentful emotions welling up inside them. Draco, in particular, had lots of these emotions. He felt, however, that he couldn't express these emotions to anyone because they were all supposed to be friends again. Not that he ever was particularly good friends with Ron to begin with.

But that was beside the point. The point was that he wanted to be a peace keeper and it was very difficult given his raging emotions.

"Yo, broa, what's wrong?" Blaise asked Draco, whacking him on the shoulder as his blonde friend slumped glumly on a sticky, leather Slytherin couch.

Draco shrugged.

Blaise sat down next to him. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily. Seriously, I can tell that something's wrong. What is it?"

Draco took a deep breath. "I don't want to mess up this peaceful semi-treaty that we have between the houses by instigating some other song fight."

"You know that no matter what it is, it's going to come out eventually. So why don't you tell me so I can be prepared to sing backup vocals?"

Draco flared his nostrils. "Fine," he relented. "I'm still really pissed off for that stupid song Ron sang to me the other day. About me losing Hermione if I don't treat her right." He punched his palm with his fist. "I mean, what does that bitch think he knows about Hermione and my relationship? I treat her GREAT, and what does he think he can accoplish by bitching and moaning to me via some stupid pop song?"

"Damn straight," Blaise said, offering his fist up for a pound against Draco's.

* * *

The real drama, though, didn't go down until the next day, in Hogsmeade. It was a nice, brisk, snowy day, and most of the Hogwarts student body who had the option headed down to Hogsmeade. Draco did his best to hang out with just his Slytherin friends, telling Hermione he needed some time to catch up with the guys. She acted like she understood, although he could tell it made her sad. Unfortunately, when the Slytherin crew—Draco, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe, and Goyle—was chilling in an alleyway around mid-afternoon, the Gryffindor crew—Ron, Harry, Dean, Seamus, and Neville—happened to show up to the wrong place at the wrong time.

"What are you doing here?" Blaise asked, how he hoped was kindly. He tried to suggest with his face that it would be wise for them to leave.

"It's a free alleyway," Ron retorted.

"Oh God…" Blaise grumbled.

Suddenly what sounded like a synthesized gong rang throughout the streets of Hogsmeade. Everyone knew what that meant. A song/house fight! Soon the crowd was gignormous, and the lyrics hadn't even begun to come from Draco's mouth yet. All that was playing was some sweet guitar.

"They told him, don't you ever come around here!" sang Draco, finally, stepping into the center of the narrow street. "Don't want to see your face—you better disappear. The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear so beat it."

"Just beat it," sang the five as a group.

He took a wary but confident step forward. "You better run, you better do what you can. Don't want to see no blood, don't be a macho man. You wanna be tough, better do what you can, so beat it. But you wanna be bad, just beat it!"

"Beat it!" sang the background vocals—the other four Slytherin boys.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" they all sang together. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"Just beat it."

"Beat it."

"Just beat it."

"Beat it."

"Just beat it."

"Beat it."

"UGHH!" grunted Crabbe.

"They're out to get you, better leave while you can," sang Draco, on his own again. He busted some moves in the middle of the snowy alley. "Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man. You wanna stay alive, better do what you can, so beat it."

"Just beat it," they sang together.

"You have to show them that you're really not scared. You're playing with your life, this ain't no truth or dare. They'll kick you then they beat you, then they'll tell you it's fair. So beat it. But you wanna be bad! Just beat it!"

"Beat it!" came from the backup singers.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" they all sang together again. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"Beat it."

"Beat it."

"No one wants to be defeated! Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it (beat it, beat it)," came Draco, his voice echoing.

The guitar grunted away and the "gong" sounded a few times.

"Beat it, beat it."

Gong, gong.

"Beat it, beat it. Beat it, beat it."

Guitar. Guitar and gong. A _new_ guitar.

Finally. "Beat it!" sang Draco.

"Beat it!" sang the background vocals—the other four Slytherin boys.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" they all sang together. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Who's right—Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated!" the four sang as Draco squealed in the background. "Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it," sang Draco.

"Beat it," sang the other four.

"No one wants to be defeated. Showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right."

"Just beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"Beat it!"

"No one wants to be defeated. Showin' how funky strong is your fight, it doesn't matter who's wrong or right." The song began fading into the frosty air.

The boys were finally finished.

Draco grunted. "WHAT?" he said, snapping forward at the Gryffindor boys.

"Whoa, there, calm down." Blaise gently pulled his friend out of the center of attention and the Slytherins walked off.

The Gryffindors were left, completely puzzled, in the frigid air.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm not sure of two things: 1. If the ordinarily would have school on Saturdays. Well, the school's gone down the toilet anyway. 2. How to get to the kitchens. I remember tickling a pear painting and a knight in shining armor statue, but I really have no idea what I'm talking about. Help would be greatly appreciated. There's this part in Backstreet's Back where one of them is singing but it's like fading into the bridge, or something, and I can't really tell what he's saying. So I kind of just made it up. And yes, I did copy the Backstreet's Back video for this little song and dance sequence. It's awesomely great and nineties. 


End file.
